Real life
03.23.05 (7:20 pm) [edit]What is 'real'? Stupid question? Well, some may think so...others, however, may actually see the sense in asking such a question. After all, perception is something that should never be messed with...its what make us who we are.
'Real' life can mean many different things. There are many different ways people live their lives. You can live vicariously through someone else, you can make believe, or you can take a step forward to self-realization. All of these are done through the same process: experience. Now this may seem like a fairly broad statement, but think about it for a moment. Experience does not mean that you have done something more than anyone else, but it can. All this word means is that you have gained or lost something. Every experience you have shapes who you are, but you decide on how it shapes you. For instance, if your heart is broken...will you stop loving? No. Why? Because there are certain things in life that are uncontrollable. Not matter how much you think you have control over a situation, you can lose it in an instant. What matters most is what you hold onto through each experience. You may lose a lot, but in the process you have gained more than you have lost. One must always be aware of the lessons life has taught. You can go your entire life keeping nothing of what you have learned, but what kind of life is that? I suppose you'd learn how to make mistakes, but then my last statement would be false because you have kept something - the ability to make mistakes. This ability is one we all have and all use from time to time...though mistakes are usually something you don't mean to make. We've all made them, but whats important is that you learn from them. What would you do if someone hurt you in some way? Would you turn the other cheek or would you protest the assault? You should do both. How? Well, its simple really. Turn the other cheek so you do not hurt them back, but make it clear that it is something you will not accept...or turn a cheek to again. If they end up hurting you again, forget about it and move on...otherwise it will never fade from your mind and you will constantly worry. Worry is something that you need, but not something to live with. The reason you must worry is to remain cautious if the sitaution arises again, but don't worry about 'what if', worry only enough to learn from it. As all emotions go, you can feel too much of something...so allow yourself to take a step back here and there so you realize what it going on and how to either change or live with it.
Back to the subject at hand - what is 'real'? I believe that what you feel is 'real' and nothing more. Although, what you think has a major effect on what you feel. So allow yourself to remember what, why, and how you allow something to impact your life. Theres a lot to learn from it all...just don't think too much about it.
Whats real to you?
posted by: altricial (reply)
post date: 03.23.05 (7:24 pm)
Reality can be fluid. For instance, a situation can go on for years, like an estrangement. Then a change, such as a terminal illness can make the parties interested in reconciling. The pain of final seperation wasn't real to them before. That's one definition of an epiphany. Something that was ephemoral or theoretical suddenly become real.
posted by: cmaze (reply)
post date: 03.23.05 (7:48 pm)
Reply to: altricial
This is true. However, I think that is a fools course. One should never wait until the final moment to reconcile such a relationship. I believe the only reason that this action is taken (waited on) is to make the party feel better about themselves and the situation.
As for the pain of such a situation...well, pain is something like I explained in the post...something you do not have control over no matter how much you think you do. It may take a lot for someone to realize their wrongs, but don't wait til the end to make it right.
posted by: lindy (reply)
post date: 03.23.05 (7:48 pm)
Talk about thinking too much...
How about investing your heart into a relationship that takes place on-line and at the end of it all, all you have are pages and pages of words and no real or tangible proof that there ever was a person in your arms... is this real? Would a heartache over such a scenario be real? I haven't decided yet.
posted by: cmaze (reply)
post date: 03.23.05 (7:53 pm)
Reply to: lindy
Reality is whatever you want it to be.
I have known people who have had the e-relationship and it was as real as a real relationship...even without the physical sense of such a thing. The physical is not necessary, it just adds a little more to the words. Even if you never meet the person, there is still emotion involved...which makes it as real as anything else...as long as you feel something. Though I myself am unsure of how real it is to anyone else...its real to the persons involved...which, in some sense, makes it real.
posted by: altricial (reply)
post date: 03.23.05 (7:53 pm)
Reply to: lindy
You have, too decided. You never had a choice. The relationship was real. The heartache is, too. But so is the healing.
posted by: altricial (reply)
post date: 03.23.05 (7:55 pm)
Reply to: cmaze
Most people in such a situation (I've never been) don't "want" a reconciliation. Or they only do on their own terms. But the prospect of not being allowed one (through death, for instance) changes the "reality" of the estrangement. In other words, it was only in their mind. But that's still real.
Try a little Rene DesCartes. That'll flip your reality switch.
posted by: lindy (reply)
post date: 03.23.05 (8:50 pm)
Reply to: cmaze
Kay. well said, I think...
posted by: lindy (reply)
post date: 03.23.05 (8:51 pm)
Reply to: altricial
Okay, also well said. I see a pattern...