Darkness
03.18.05 (4:31 pm) [edit]
What is darkness? Is it merely an absense of light or is there more to it? I suppose that there are many interpretations of what darkness is. Some may see it as merely the absense of light, but others may see it as the beginning of all creation. Some may say that darkness is internal, while others say it is external. I say that darkness is the mind while the heart and soul are its source of light. Its one of those things that is mostly philosophical. After all, if it weren't then we would once again find ourselves with the dictionary's definition: the absense of light.
This is something I have given a lot of thought in my life. Since I have dealt with darkness a lot in my life, I had questioned its every essence. I used to be afraid of the dark until I realized that when I closed my eyes, I was surrounded by it. Then I realized my ability to create. My mind was filled with new and interesting things to explore, but the only reason this was so is because of the things I saw and felt. If I had not experienced something, there would only be darkness. I would still have my thoughts, but there would be no real substance in those thoughts. They would be empty, hollow, and filled with darkness. It didn' t take me long to come to terms with what darkness was and why it was omnipresent within my life...after all, I had a lot of alone time growing up. I realized one of two things: I could take it the wrong way and be let down, or I could create anything I wanted out of it. So, I created a nice little life for myself within the darkness.
Now that I am older and have gone through many changes of belief and philosophy, I realize that I still think the same way about darkness. Only now I do not use it to create my own little world...I don't need that anymore. I use it as my quiet place. I go there when I need to sort things out. Sometimes it can be a little too much to take...since there is more than meets the eye in the dark, but I don't see myself living there anymore. I have developed a certain kinship with the darkness because of the time I spent there, I have an understanding of what it is and why it is there. And while I am depressed, confused, and worried...I am still inspired, thoughtful, and insightful. All of this because I am introspective...I have explored the darkness and I have created from the darkness. In essence, I am the darkness. I am also the light.
posted by: almsthvn (reply)
post date: 03.18.05 (4:46 pm)
very well said, cmaze. those of us who have struggled with the dark can relate very well.
posted by: lindy (reply)
post date: 03.18.05 (5:52 pm)
I'm speechless.
posted by: cmaze (reply)
post date: 03.18.05 (6:09 pm)
Reply to: lindy
You, speechless? WOW! This is quite a paradox. lol.
posted by: lindy (reply)
post date: 03.18.05 (6:19 pm)
Reply to: cmaze
Why, I oughta....
posted by: cmaze (reply)
post date: 03.18.05 (6:31 pm)
Reply to: lindy
Oughta, huh? Thats the best you got? lol ;-)
posted by: juniperflux (reply)
post date: 03.18.05 (7:15 pm)
First of all, I must say that I am grateful to you for having inspired silence from Lindy. Now we finally have on record once and for all that she is capable of such a state. ;-)
Secondly, and far more importantly, I cannot stress enough how healthy and healing this post seems to be. We all struggle with the darkness in our lives, and it is only when we realize that *we* have the power to shape that black clay into whatever we want/need that we can accept it as an essential part of who we are.
If there is anything I know for sure, Chris, it is that life is about balance. In all things there must be proportion and balance... a ying to every yang.. light for every dark. It sounds to me as though you are finding your way to that. Good for you.
j
posted by: cmaze (reply)
post date: 03.18.05 (10:23 pm)
Reply to: juniperflux
I have always known about balance and the need for it in life. However, I have not always been able to accept certain aspects of balance.
While we have light and dark, we also have grey areas. These grey areas are what ever we decide for them to be. In deciding what something is, we make our own balance out of it. Sometimes we end up getting things confused and throwing the balance off, but thats why it is grey matter - it is constantly able to change. Nothing ever need stay the same which is what makes balance possible.
These are things I have known and understood for a very long time. This doesn't mean, however, that I accept them...only that I see them. Life may be nothing more than opinion and perspective...
posted by: lindy (reply)
post date: 03.19.05 (6:40 am)
Reply to: juniperflux
Hey! loooooooooooooooooool
I have decided that silence is best at this moment...
(out of need to prove yet again I am capable)
smarty pants.
posted by: lindy (reply)
post date: 03.19.05 (6:40 am)
Reply to: cmaze
Okay...
Why, I'm GONNA.......
posted by: cmaze (reply)
post date: 03.19.05 (9:10 am)
Reply to: lindy
Gonna what? Huh? HUH?! lol ;-)
posted by: cmaze (reply)
post date: 03.19.05 (11:18 am)
Reply to: Godsmack
I typed in 'inspiration' on Google's image search and found it as I was cruisin through the results! lol
posted by: lindy (reply)
post date: 03.19.05 (5:22 pm)
I was perfectly content to remain silent throughout this particular post, given that this was not possible in the minds of... some people. :)
But upon request (yes, indeed) here are my thoughts on darkness. They may not necessarily relate specifically to what the author had in mind upon penning these particular thoughts, but here they are just the same...
I have recently come to know my moments of darkness, those moments when my eyes are closed and I am swimming in myself... as the lightest points in my life. It is in those precise moments that I feel light all around me, if that makes any sense. And when I am awake and walking among the rest of the 'living'... that is when darkness often settles upon me in my attempts to fumble through. Again, this may not relate, but this is how I see it. As for grey areas... well, I choose for my grey areas to be devided into black and white often. ha. Think about *that* for a second. heh heh.
Acceptance of good and bad, dark and light, Yen and Yang, balance, as Juni calls it, etc. brings with it peace. It is something that if over-thought, can drive a rational person over the brink until most can no longer understand him. Acceptance of the necessary polar opposites in our lives makes it easier to simply be. You can talk about it until you are blue in the face, but examples of its necessity are all around. Darkness and lightness are life. One can not be shut out without shutting out the other.
posted by: cmaze (reply)
post date: 03.19.05 (6:04 pm)
Reply to: lindy
I agree with you for the most part. However, you saying that one cannot be shut out without shutting off the other is somewhat of a 'no duh'. It really goes without saying because they are opposites.
I like how you mentioned 'black and white', I have always believed...and will always believe, that black and white is the essense of creationism.
I can't really say much more regarding your comment except for the fact that I am thankful you shared SOMETHING! You made a lot more sense than you think...depending on your thought process. lol But you basically explained in your own words what I was saying in mine. :-)
posted by: lindy (reply)
post date: 03.19.05 (6:34 pm)
Reply to: cmaze
loooooooooooool why does this feel like a dismissal? hahahaha. Well there you go. :)