idea box on the side of inflamed opinions.....what?
07.27.04 (1:15 pm) [edit]
anyway, i am really happy about how my writing had developed. recently i started to use more "intelligent" sounding words because my writing style before was a bit too...well, high schoolish lol. i think that my latest poems might just be worthy enough for some lucky publisher to read and marvel over lol....you never know :wink:
for those of you wondering about when i may finish up my king arthur string, i will not be posting anymore on the legend until i am content with the information i am ready to give. see, theres a lot of work that goes into something like this so i need to revise a bit before posting anymore. i have a point to make and it will be made...in due time.
in the meantime, let me know if anyone out there is interested in starting a free-write blog. i'd like to start a joint blog for the poets in the blogging world...hell, even writers from all walks of writing. lol, sounds funny. anyway, if there is anyone interested in starting up a blog that people can submit to and critique, let me know...i think it'd be really cool.
until the day i waste away....
Shrivel
07.27.04 (10:59 am) [edit]your abandoned words
a fabled expression
such boundless ignominy
in your subtle inquiry
as to why my postures fixed,
your tasteless manner
exalted my cognizance
with a pardoned reassurance
that nothing was hampered
or mistakingly muttered,
your flawless declaration
of infatuation
muted displays of ignorance
and hastily drawn opinions,
they sanctified your follies
since you made a hobby of it
and discredited your discernment
since you set your mind to ferment...
Poem: A Letter
07.26.04 (2:36 pm) [edit]keeping correspondence
through congruent patterns,
my asphyxiated melancholy
your monstrosity,
through disdained troves
hollowed out coves
of disillusioned prophets
consecrating infallibility,
incandescent virtues hung on walls
phrenic meandering invariable calls,
my withered artistry
your bewildered disguise,
some feckless hearts bagatelle
on which my ears fell
manipulates her enigma
illustriously noted
begotten servatude,
i'm validated for today
methinks i'll go away...
WHAT?
07.26.04 (1:35 pm) [edit]today is one of those days...
i feel like running away and hiding from all of my problems, but i don't really have many problems to hide from. seems i'm just stuck on a thought and theres no way to make it fade. i wanted to stay home today, but that wouldn't have gotten me anywhere and i would have lost out on some extra cash. oh well.
lately i've been letting myself get to me...make sense? i've let my mind and heart confuse me, pressing me further into a void of disillusionment. against what i know is right, i keep thinking about lonnie. if i'm not thinking about lonnie, i think about moving. if i'm not thinking about moving, i'm thinking about love. if i'm not thinking about love, i'm thinking about hate. and so on etc etc etc. i wish that for one day i could just press the off switch and go to sleep or at least just not think about anything. my mind runs along on a narrow path to nowhere...not to mention how many times along the way it stops to meander through streams of bullshit. ah well.
sometimes i think that its because i have been feeling lonely. sometimes i think it might be because i haven't had any REAL conversations with anyone. and sometimes i think its just due to not writing as much as i usually do. regardless of why my mind is set on over-drive, i need to relax. i need to just find some place to be completely alone. or maybe i need to surround myself with people. and maybe i just need to find myself a good friend to talk to. all i know is that i need to vent about pissing myself off. lol
i wish people could be more straight forward about things. why do people feel that they need to hold things in? when you talk to them, they remain silent or ignore certain aspects of the conversation. how about that hidden smile or the smile thats hiding something else? dammit, i wish people would stop playing mind games. "i am a book, open me up." can't i just read the back and then have the audio version? oh well.
damn. i am so angry with people right now.
tickle quiz
07.26.04 (10:25 am) [edit]decided i'd waste some time taking a quiz at tickle.com to see why i am still single...lol. heres the results:
"You, more than others, have a fairy tale fantasy of how things should be. Ever since you were a kid, you've probably dreamed of the perfect wedding, coming home to a white picket fence, dog, and 2.2 kids (how does that work, anyway?). When someone asks what you're looking for, you don't skip a beat: You're likely to have a handy checklist that details your perfect partner. Hair and eye color, height, religion, education, career, interests, the list goes on.
While it's great to have standards — Hey, you shouldn't have to settle, after all — there's one slight glitch in your master plan: No one has made the grade in real life — at least not yet. Next time you're out with someone, keep yourself from mentally checking that list, and give love — and others — a chance. That special someone who you've written off may be perfect for you after all..."
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not too far off. lol
wall
07.26.04 (8:49 am) [edit]ever feel like a wall? not that you slammed into one and not like you're staring one down...but you ARE the wall. feels like theres nothing going on inside or out...you're just there. you feel as if everything people do or say just slams up against you and ends right where it began. tired. weak. devoid of anything but the same old solem look. ever feel like that? its not sad, but its not a way worth being. maybe coffee will help? nope, this is one situation coffee can't help with. maybe its just a really bad case of the mondays.
ha.
the rest
07.26.04 (8:27 am) [edit]you'll have to forgive me for not quite finishing my king arthur posts, i haven't been able to grab a good outline for the point resolver. the point i have been trying to make about king arthur: he did exist, just not as one person. the story of king arthur evolved over a course of 500 years...he couldn't have been one person, but reading through the history of britain etc, it is easy to see how the story grew through people who did in fact fight or live in his time period. i'll have to finish it up later. sorry for the break.
anyway, its the start of another week. ack. so, enjoy your monday and i'll try to enjoy mine.
simplify
07.25.04 (10:49 am) [edit]its another sunday
mindless by sunlight...
friday night was pretty fun. i had a bunch of people over and it turned out that somehow i invited more people than i remembered...haha, it was cool though because everyone was a good friend. had gone to the buck before hand and had a couple of beers. two guys offered to play teams against my brother and i, so we did. turns out these guys are a couple of fuckin arrogant sharks, but we hadn't bet so it didn't matter. problem was, one of the guys decided that it would be in his best interest to try and pick a fight over switching teams...he had brought it up and i had already paid for my game..hmm. anyway, this was the second time EVER that i had seen them in the bar. i know everyone at the bar pretty damn well, but this guy...well, nobody knew him. you do the math.
last night was pretty boring, just stuck around the house watching tv and eating chicken. i felt burned out because i had gotten to bed way too late on friday. i spent the day watching infomercials and a couple of movies. yeah, exciting.
tonite i might head down to the drum circle at venice beach. i haven't been for a really long time due to thinking it had been cancelled...i had remembered hearing that it was shut down because of noise levels. hmm, that always struck me as funny because someone complained about the noise...in venice. lol
well i think its time i get back to it.
do what you do doin it...
07.23.04 (10:55 am) [edit]so, i guess my friend russ tried to hook me up with our mutual friend laura. "you'd make a cute couple" he said. "no thanks." i replied.
anyway, went to taco bell yesterday and the girl behind the counter decided she would like to tell me how much she wanted to try the new mountain dew flavour that will be coming out. she held onto my cup since it has a big logo that says: BAJA BLAST on it...it took her about 5 minutes to finally hand me the cup. it was cute, but i also found it somewhat annoying...but it was still cute. smiled, winked, and said good day.
moving on...
nothing new really. don't have much personal stuff i want to talk about right now, but decided to leave a note?
king arthur 2.
07.23.04 (10:13 am) [edit]Perhaps the most debated question regarding Arthur is that of historicity -- many books, articles and web-pages simply make the a priori assumption that a historical 5th- or 6th-century personage must ultimately lie behind this character but such an assumption is totally unjustified, as has been discussed elsewhere on these pages; rather Arthur should most probably be seen as a legendary pan-Brittonic folkloric hero who was historicised, just as the Gaelic Fionn and the Kentish Hengest were. Dr Bromwich and Professor D. Simon Evans have recently written that the Arthur of pre-Galfridian literature was "above all else...a defender of his country against every kind of danger, both internal and external: a slayer of giants and witches, a hunter of monstrous animals -- giant boars, a savage cat monster, a winged serpent (or dragon) -- and also, as it appears from Culhwch and Preiddeu Annwn, a releaser of prisoners. This concept [of Arthur] is substantiated from all the early sources: the poems Pa Gur and Prieddeu Annwn, the Triads, the Saint's Lives, and the Miribilia attached to the Historia Brittonum....in early literature he belongs, like Fionn, to the realm of mythology rather than to that of history." (Rachel Bromwich and D. Simon Evans (edd.) Culhwch and Olwen. An edition and study of the oldest Arthurian tale (University of Wales Press, Cardiff 1992) p.xxviii-xxix). At the most basic level, Arthur, like Fionn, appears to have been seen as a peerless warrior (also a giant), the leader of a band of superhuman heroes, in particular Cai and Bedwyr, whose main world was one of magical animals, giants, and other wonderful happenings, located in the wild parts of the landscape as evidenced in, amongst other sources, topographic folklore (see Oliver Padel "The Nature of Arthur" Cambrian Medieval Celtic Studies 27 (Summer 1994) pp.1-31).
By the 12th-century the Arthurian legend achieves extensive written form in Welsh as narratives and allusions and Arthur is an imposing figure, granted fantastic titles and the lordship of the whole of Britain -- as a figure Arthur becomes too strong and too clearly established to be anything other than central in any context he appears in and the Arthurian legend, as a consequence, attracts figures and episodes of unrelated story-cycles: "In this lay the seeds of decline as the story setting, the hero a story-telling device, and the Arthurian scene an opportunity for parody. Arthur, not integral in story-telling context, never achieves, in Continental romance, the active central role which he has in the earliest Welsh , and even the later Welsh texts fail to maintain his real pre-eminence." (Brynley F. Roberts 'Culhwch ac Olwen, the , Saint's Lives' in R. Bromwich, A.O.H. Jarman and B.F. Roberts (edd.) 1991, The Arthur of the Welsh. The Literature (Cardiff 1991) pp.73-95 at p.85)
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I happen to be at work right now so the details will be sorted out around lunch time or sometime close to it. THanks.
king arthur.
07.22.04 (10:35 am) [edit]Writers and historians have long been divided on the truth of the many different tellings of the stories of Arthur, the great Welsh king of Britain. Although many now think that there is some truth underlying the widely varying accounts, the hard facts surrounding Arthur's reign are almost completely obscured in a mist of myths and legends. Like all legends, these tales evolved over many centuries. Their telling and retelling over those years, while it may have left them somewhat lacking in truth, has emphasized and expanded their most compelling parts, making the Arthurian saga as glorious and prolific a body of stories as any, in fact or fiction.
The existence of Arthur as an historical figure can be traced back to only three written texts/books;
1. 'The History of the Britons' Written in Latin, but unfortunately written approximately three hundred years after the death of Arthur, in c.AD537, is supposed to have occurred:
'Then the warrior Arthur, with the soldiers and kings of Britain used to fight against the Saxons, and though there were many of more noble birth than he, he was twelve times leader of war and victor of the battles.'
This book also refers to the 'Battle of Badon':
'The twelfth battle was on Badon Hill and in it 960 men fell in one day from a single charge of Arthur's, and no one laid them low 'cept for he alone, and he was victorious in all his campaigns.'
2. 2. 'De excido et conqeustu Britannae', The Ruin and Conquest of Britain
Written by 'Gildas' of the early Celtic Church. It is suggested that this book may possibly have been written during Arthur's own lifetime, but it does not mention Arthur at all, the reason for which is a subject of much debate. It does however mention the victorious 'Battle of Badon' referred to in The History of the Britons.
There are many reasons given for Gildas omitting Arthur but it is one sentence alone that links the two books together:
'From then on victory went now to our countrymen, now to their enemies. This lasted right up to the siege of Badon Hill.'
The reason for Arthur by name being excluded from the writings of Gildas could be explained by further analysis of who was responsible for compiling the book, if Gildas sought favour of any particular person, and whether there were any patrons involved who might have influenced the content, either Saxon or Norman. To the independent Celtic Church, of which Gildas was seen to be part of, the relationship of Arthur to the Norman's can be considered to have been a threat. 'Cadoc' of the Celtic Church, writes very unfavourably of Arthur, in 'The Life of Cadoc', where Arthur is subject to a critical character analysis resulting in the image of a man of flawed stature and heritage.
3. 3. 'Annales Cambriae', The Annals of Wales
The existence of the 'Battle of Badon', mentioned in both the previous books is confirmed by the third book, written during the so-called 'Dark Ages'. Here it is written:
'AD516, Battle of Badon, in which Arthur carried the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ for three days and three nights on his shield, and the Britons were victorious'.
Here Arthur is seen to have been successful in battle and to be a defender of the Britons, and the Christian faith. This is the first explicit reference to Arthur's alignment with Christianity and an implied leader of men. The Annals of Wales account mentions that the battle takes place near a 'Mount Badon', which is believed by some to be located not in Wales but near 'Salisbury Hill', near the city of Bath (UK).
There are many places that have claimed to be the location of Arthur's last battle, known as the 'Battle of Camlan', the most well-known being 'Slaughter Bridge', Cornwall, England. This is believed to have taken place some twenty years later after the Battle of Badon, at 'Camlan', Dorset , 'Liddington Castle', Wiltshire (UK), and 'Badbury Rings', Dorset (UK). Here history and legend are hinted at becoming blurred.
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I will continue further tomorrow. I am at work right now so it was risky just doing that part. Please let me know what you think about this and lets open it up for discussion. If there are no responces, no continue. Thanks.
king arthur is coming....but music videos are cool too....hmm....
07.21.04 (1:32 pm) [edit]
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i think that i might do stuff like that more often if it proves to be a good venture (ie lots of comments and interest shown). i like to write about what i know and not just always what i feel. i'm still not sure why i stopped posting the random facts and the true/false questions. maybe i'll start doing that again if people seem interested enough. maybe thats why i stopped posting the stuff that made my blog go higher and higher in ranking, but seemed like people stopped taking interest in things. oh well, we'll see what happens i guess.
i'm considering taking the day off tomorrow as well. my friend jon's hearst is going to be in a music video so i might go down to santa monica with him for that. i really think money is more important right now though and if i take any more time off of work then i will not be receiving the amount of money i would like. considering that i need a car, i think the best decision would be to go ahead and come in. after all, i have to remain somewhat responcible...don't i?
written word and killers amidst...
07.21.04 (10:42 am) [edit]i don't think people get the idea that we are JUST FRIENDS. sometimes it is rather funny to me and sometimes it can be a little aggrivating. however, i can see where some people might get the idea that there is more to it...considering how close we are. i guess maybe i should just make it a little clearer to people about whats going on with that.
anyway, last night was a good night. hung out with lonnie and jon at the buck and then at my pad for a bit. oh, yeah...we tell eachother we love one and other now. hehe. ok, well, i wrote a poem about lonnie after last night...here it is....please tell me what you think and feel free to pick it apart!
[LINE]
Masquerader.
sweet little masquerader
tip-toe down those steps
unfounded canonization
ecstatically verbose
aesthetically pleased
such an ardent lover
averse to contempt
regardlessly hastening fate
taking heart toward folkies
advantageously silly
assuredly peculiar
sweet little masquerader
cavort on over my way
repetitively amorous
errantly speaking
befuddling words
redundant discourse,
so secretive
so meaningful,
my sweet little masquerader...
-chris.
poem - rushed.
07.20.04 (4:18 pm) [edit]yes, it was rushed...and what?
------------------------- ----
as crows circle from above
i stand silent and fragile
tracing a landscape with my eyes
touching her words with my lips...
some ancient feeling awake inside me
blissfully caressing a silent tune
taking each step for granted
seems time has stopped...
close my eyes to make a wish
or to retreat in solitude
as if taking one last breath
as an old man waits
for his angel to return...
her face so delicate in the snow
if i touch it
would it fade?
starry eyed in twilight
searching for a heart to hold
as a child might grasp a blanket -
shelter from what lurks below...
so i stay with her til daybreak
making sure theres no mistake
since i can't stand waiting
while shes participating
taking one last chance
on this story book romance...
SLOGAN GAME pt 2!!
07.20.04 (1:59 pm) [edit]alrighty, heres another guess the company/product game! just read the slogans below and see if you know what the company/product is!!
1. M'm, M'm, Good!
2. Mama mia, that's a spicy meatball!
3. Nothin' says lovin' like somethin' from the oven.
4. Nothing comes between me and my ______.
5. Promise her anything, but give her ______.
6. See the USA in your ______.
7. Something special in the air.
8. The best part of waking up is ______ in your cup.
9. See America at see level.
10. The Un-Cola'
spine.
07.20.04 (1:40 pm) [edit]dammit, i was going to write something profound and now i can't. i totally lost my train of thought, just flew right off the track and burst into flames. now i'll just have to sit here pretending to work...desperately trying to get a point so i can have a conclusion. hmmm, i suppose that might not work, but thats not going to stop me from trying.
i was sitting here just now watching my hands move across the keyboard and realized that they dance a lot. my hands are all over the place on this crazy thing...my typing doesn't remotely resemble the way i learned to type in school. maybe thats all just due to the fact that i never paid much attention to what the hell the teacher was trying to say. ok, type "food" a bunch of times then hit scroll and type "sally loves fried chicken" then print it out and hand it in. that was in the 5th grade....ah, the 5th grade....i hated 5th grade. i hated all of school...lol. well, up until 8th. but who gives a rats ass.
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i feel a little like i am losing my mind...or at least wish i was. however, this is not the first time and it will not be the last. i guess its mostly got to do with being overly happy. like in patch adams where it was "excessive." hell, i'm not even sure why i am finding myself so happy...its like something happened and i just don't know what it is yet, but i can feel it. how very strange.
good luck.
religion. a quiz. lol
07.20.04 (12:44 pm) [edit]
Which Enemy of the Christian Church Are You?
Take More of Robert & Tim's Quizzes
Watch Robert & Tim's Cartoons
a shadow of a doubt and beyond
07.19.04 (1:04 pm) [edit]this blog was inspired by a picture on elusivestate's blog.
in order to answer a question must you actually answer it or merely understand it? this is not a question of words, this is a question of feeling.
see, people have questions in their minds/hearts concerning certain aspects of their lives that are often times confusing. for me, these questions used to just keep building with every answer i came up with. i realized that maybe it wasn't a question of answering, but a question of understanding. i think mostly it is due to doubt. no question can be answered if you doubt yourself. this is why i believe it is important to just take a leap of faith and learn from what you experienced...whether its good or bad, at least you know what would/should/did/could happen.
i guess maybe i was a little stupid in the way i handled the situation with lonnie. i let my questions get the better of me and went ahead and made the decision. i realize now that maybe i should have just put it like this: try a relationship for a little while and see how it goes, if it doesn't work then go back to being friends. at least then i would have known and there would be no more questions about it. however, that is not how i handled it...why? because i had doubts. thing is, you're never going to get anywhere if you are constantly doubting what you feel. i think its important to try to live a life without regret and all too often the regret mostly comes from "what if."
the question that i was stuck with was exactly that: what if. i just never imagined taking a chance on it because there were too many questions/too much doubt that came with that "what if"...things like: what if we break up and lose our friendship, what if i stop loving her or she stops loving me just out of the blue? what happens then? its those types of questions that will force you further and further from an answer. it was simple actually: take a chance...i just couldn't bring myself to do it because i had too many doubts about such a thing.
so, i think the answers come with understanding and understanding it means taking a chance on it just to see...because at least you've got an answer that can't be questioned. though you never know. just remember, there is always a way TO know. so i'm going to be taking more leaps because questions haunt and tire and stress out...
"Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds." - Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Seize the moment of excited curiosity on any subject to solve your doubts; for if you let it pass, the desire may never return, and you may remain in ignorance." - William Wirt
Just waiting for the sun to open up my heart to anyone
07.19.04 (11:07 am) [edit]well, wanted to blog and didn't have a clue what to blog about so i found myself over at BlogIdeas.com ans heres what happened....
[LINE]
- What makes you laugh?
there are a wide range of things that will make me laugh. however, if it is true laughter is another question. laughing is one of my "nervous habits" or whatever you call it. if i find myself in an awkward situation, i might laugh. if there is stupid comedy on tv, i'll probably laugh. i find myself laughing mostly at myself though. yes, at myself. why? well, it depends on the situation. if i am trying to hide something, i'll either laugh at how stupid it is that i am caught up on it or i'll cough if i think its a bit too much. yeah. also, stupid people make me laugh quite a bit just because i can never really undestand what prompts such stupid behaviour.
[LINE]
- Have you ever seen a dead body?
i think so. a couple of times actually. seems every time i see a car accident, it ends up being a really bad one. i'll usually see people lying on the ground with emt's surrounding them. i've also seen numerous photos and such with real dead bodies in them. i don't ever remember going to a funeral in my life, but i know i have seen some dead bodies.
[LINE]
- Alcohol: your thoughts.
alcohol is alright as long as you drink in moderation. alcoholism runs pretty rampant in my family...well, mostly it was just my highly destructive grandfather, but my brother is pretty bent on alcohol himself. i'll have times when i just really want to drink and will end up getting highly intoxicated, but its not something i hide in. i think its worse than a lot of other things...like a couple of illegal substances i could mention...weed *ahem*. i believe there are too many down sides with alcohol. your liver, kidey, mental health, and numerous other things are put at risk when you drink. just think before you drink. thats all.
ok, that was fun and rather pointless.....
quiz.
07.19.04 (9:56 am) [edit]haha, another quiz. oh joy.
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You are Long-wang!
Mythological Background: Yes, the dragon represents
everything you think of when you think of a
dragon - fearsome and invincible. Also, it is
greatly respected just because of that fact.
The dragon has a very protective aspect to it.
Even Jupiter reminds you of intense smashing
power. The dragon is almost always surrounded
by rain-bearing clouds and fog; and the
appearance of its constellation always signals
rainfall and lightning. It's also a symbol of
authority worn by the nobility and the imperial
class. Japanese Name: Seiryuu.
Which Chinese Mythological Being Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
surprise ending, don't need to go all out on a review, it wasn't long enough and kroq can bite me.
07.19.04 (8:47 am) [edit]well, last night was fucking fun!!! went to the modest mouse concert with my friends. the venue was really cool, but the workers/security all sucked. the guy outside wouldn't let my friend desiree take two last bites of her hotdog on the way in. then that same guy wouldn't let my friend bubak go outside to grab some cash to buy some drinks. its not like it would have been that great of idea to get drinks there though...it cost 14 bucks for two jack n cokes. there is something seriously wrong with that, not to mention the 5 bucks per beer. i was about to throw a fit because i was also pissed that the parking was 15 bucks if we had parked close, but we decided a walk was more than worth it - am i right or am i right? lol.
mostly, i was angry about a lot of the concert. since modest mouse has "hit the big time" they are drawing out a much shittier crowd. for instance, a few years ago you could have gone to a MM concert and found all easy going, great chill people. however, now you'll get more of a clear channel crowd...get it? the "i listen to kroq" crowd just doesn't do it for me. i was able to put together the whole "sell out" aspect of bands. i hate how people think its the band that "sells out" when all they want to do is make music...and in order to do that, contracts have to be signed. this, in turn, gives mr. record company the ability to do anything they want to "play the band." there were people getting pissed if MM decided not to do a new song, but mostly it went over alright.
modest mouse has to be one of the greatest live shows you can go to. its not that they have big explosions and expensive cool stuff, its because they are so goddamn crowd-friendly and sound amazing. they really know how to play and they aren't afraid to show it. some people may not like the records, but will just love the shows. the only thing that angered me about the performance is that isaac brock didn't get to do his 15 minute shit-talking to the crowd. though hes was rather overwhelmed with the amount of screaming crazy fans. see, modest mouse has always played really small venues with crowds that aren't big on screaming over the talking of the band because of their respect for what they have to say. "i listen to kroq" kids want music and only music, they could care less about the band and THAT makes me so FUCKING ANGRY. anyhoot, modest mouse only got to play for close to 2 hours which also really made me quite angry. i did protest this and got a responce from brock: "this is what happens when you get famous..." and i still protested with: "fuck kroq" to which many people screamed: "fuck you" so i used the word 'poser'. lol, i hate that word.
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"If your success is not on your own terms, if it looks good to the world but does not feel good in your heart, it is not success at all." - Anna Quindlen
step into the night....
07.18.04 (1:08 pm) [edit]well, tonite is the modest mouse concert and i am fucking excited...too say the least. going to have so much fun, especially since its been so long since i have gone to any concert. don't leave until 7 so i've still got awhile to wait considering its only 2. blah!
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i've been thinking about moving out of CA and i haven't really reached any conclusions. well, not solid enough to ever think of any of my conclusions as a decision. i've really got to start putting more money away if i ever hope to get the hell out of this city. damn, i'm not even sure of the exact reasons i'd like to move...its just a whole bunch of things all wrapped up with a pretty bow. i've got great friends and a lot of people who care about me...and vice-versa. i've got an alright job, it pays ok and its pretty damn secure. i do have a lot working for me right now, but it just seems like maybe i should start over. after all, over the years i've been doing that quite a lot...just moving from place to place with my family and now that i've been settled in one place for so long its beginning to feel a little alien to me. i'm just so used to picking up and moving onto different things, not better or worse...just different. thats what it feels like i should do at the moment. this is one of those decisions that, when answered, is a lot different than you thought it would be in the way it changes your life. its not the first time i have been in a situation like this and it surely will not be the last. i guess for now i'll just go with the flow and if the desire continues to grow then maybe i'll pick up and move on, but right now there are still plenty of things that can change here...don't want to make up my mind until all options have been explored.
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i'm happier these days than i ever have been and it feels so good. well, maybe i was happier when i was 5, but there was so much i DIDN'T have to deal with back then...haha. all i know is that more doors are opening so things are looking up. yay.
ok, enough of a warm squishy little snippet thingger...i'm going to go take a shower and sing out loud.
i'll try hard not to give in....
dime store keets
07.16.04 (11:10 am) [edit]well, its nice to be back in town. it happens to be only about 10 degrees cooler than it was in vegas so i still get to deal with heat, but at least i am used to it.
only two days til my modest mouse concert and i can barely stand the wait! its going to be so much fun. lonnie, desiree, bubak, abbey, and myself all packin in and takin a trip to hollyweird to see one brilliant band. i'm going to complain if they don't play their old stuff...and if i meet anyone there who thinks they are a "newer" band, i am going to smack them. i don't consider myself a "hipster", but there are those who would call me such only because of my firm musical stance with the "indie" scene. i don't know what i'll do if i end up running into emo-kids, but i think i'll smack them too. we'll see what happens.
since i've been back i have only seen the people i live with and near so there are still lots of folks to see. eventhough i was only gone for a week, it seems like i was gone for a month! haha, funny how things work like that.
[LINE]
my grandmother (we all call her merr because one of the kids way back when could only say gramerr and and not grandma) is in the hospital...again. it sucks because while we have been expecting her to pass away, it is finally happening and its a lot harder for the family to cope with than we thought it would be. shes the best person in the world, always has something funny to say even if it wasn't supposed to be funny. she has a way of making the sun shine on an otherwise cloudy day. she was found by my uncle not breathing after a fall the other day and was rushed to the hospital. she has given us all scares like this before, but its worse now than it ever has been...even the couple of times she had open heart surgery. i never knew her THAT well because my brothers and i were the only ones (along with my parents) to leave texas. what i do know of her though makes her one of the most spectacular people i have ever known. to this day she will defend her rights, her beliefs, her compassion, her love, and just all aspects of her and the family. our family has always been close-knit and i only wish that i could say the same for me and my brothers when it comes to that...we've always been kinda of the "out casts" though the bonds of our family are still there and quite strong. i don't quite know how to feel at this point...as the movie big fish states, but in a different context: "we are like strangers that know eachother very well."
[LINE]
i feel myself changing inside and at a very fast rate. i feel my heart opening up and my mind expanding. i feel motivated like never before. i feel amazed by the way people act towards one and other. i have grown to accept how friendly this world actually is rather than how it appears. this is a glorious feeling and i think that its mostly because i have finally tied up the loose ends with my father. things are starting to come together again.
on the side of material incest, gotta live the good life...
07.14.04 (4:07 pm) [edit]well, tomorrow i get on an airplane to go back to cali. i'm going going back back to cali cali. ah, the joys of rap music.
its been a really nice trip...hot and dry, but nice. found a bunch of new places in the vegas area that i had never known about before because of my dad. he decided that it was important to show me the areas of vegas besides just the casions that i am so fond of. its nice to learn of new areas like that cuz it leaves a lot more to do on future trips with friends etc.
found a really nice place to get married, too. however, it really doesn't hold any bearing in my life right now since i don't see myself getting married anytime soon. far too young, but juniperflux doesn't seem to think there is a "too young" or "too old" and says everyone needs a "drive-thru wedding" story for the grandkids. lol, we'll see what happens.
i've been missing my lovey, but i've talked to her a few times a day since i have been away so it hasn't been too bad. can't wait to give her a big hug and a sloppy kiss when i get back...though i think i'll have to refrain from the sloppy kiss part. haha. i asked her over the phone what she would do if i did end up giving her some crazy unexpected kiss, but she didn't have an answer...lol. she started giggling though so maybe i should just to see what happens. hmmm, what do y'all think?
the only part about going back to CA that i am not looking forward to is work. its good to work because i get money and more money, but my day kind of disappears down the drain. ah, well, so is life. its all good though.
i've watched some really good movies while i've been here and i highly recommend them if you have not seen them: matchstick men, the last samurai, and big fish. all really damn good movies, i think maybe the best that i have seen in a long time.
alright, thats enough out of me for now. i'll leave ya with a poem....it sucks so beware....
[LINE]
i await her smile
like a child for a lollipop
or a dreamer wide awake
listening for hints
watching for reminders
of what i'm afraid to forget
like a player on a stage
silently anticipating the sound
of her voice
trying to forgive myself
for falling
and i don't know why...
seriously strange
07.13.04 (8:57 pm) [edit]"i can't ask for more than you have and you don't know you have everything..."
its early, but it feels late...at least later than it should be in this exhausted desert air, but i guess thats how it goes after a few beers and a cigarette. a cigarette i probably shouldn't have had, but it felt so good to take a drag and let it slide.
i've been having very strange dreams lately and i am afraid to learn the meanings in each of them. like dreams, life is full of metaphors. whether its the waitress in the bar or the dog barking endlessly on an otherwise vacant street...there is a meaning to everything. maybe its just that i'm tired and weary from the desert or maybe its just that my mind is more sober than it has been in awhile, but i feel as if there is something very large working for me...or against me, either way its working. i suppose that its a good thing.
i haven't found myself too homesick lately and that surprises me, but i have found myself thinking quite a bit...maybe more than i should, but it feels so right and wrong and right and wrong all at the same time.
i spoke to lonnie on the phone earlier and she was basically saying that home wasn't home without me...which is strange considering that we don't live together. she was saying there were certain things she didn't want to do without me. i think that girl needs to take a breather. lol. maybe its just me that needs to take a breather, but i do know the wind will always blow and maybe not always in the right direction, but it will blow and blow harder.
seems to me i am not making a whole lot of sense.
[LINE]
i guess what i want to say in this blog is actually nothing. at least nothing too meaningful, but sincere...all i ever do is try to be as sincere as i can possibly be. so, heres me being sincere.................
i love.
i hate.
i inspire.
i motivate.
i imagine.
i create.
i kill.
i bring.
i live.
i die.
i try.
i am me.
i am.
i should take my own advice and practice what i preach, but i preach too much to understand why i even bothered.
why did i?
why didn't i?
who am i?
who am i not?
what time is it?
is it time?
who do you think you are?
what?
nevermind.
poems.
07.13.04 (3:31 pm) [edit]i've had awhile now
to figure this all out
but my hearts so heavy
i'm drowning myself in anticipation
of all the things she'll tell me
like why its difficult to find
everything so helplessly
like wishing me good luck
on this long journey through
changing times
changing minds
to think we had imagined more
than what we were meant for
and i've had awhile now
to figure this all out
like who i am to her
who she may appear to be
to me just a girl
forcing me into seclusion
so i won't be afraid
to say
how i feel...
------------------------- ----------
still is the night that moves me
your voice that soothes me
this aching that becomes me
and my tasteless desires
of fortune too far to grasp
though i feel so honest
i know i am only lying
to a face that shows me -
where am i supposed to go?
still are the arms that hold me
a fire that burns me
this calm that devours me whole
to uncharted minds
lost in time
though i feel so humble
i know i am only feeling
the words that teach me
who i need to be...
and the light is on...
07.12.04 (5:05 pm) [edit]well, i've been here in vegas visiting with my dad for 3 days now. well, more like 2 and a few hours, but 3 for all significance. yeah. ok, anyway...
its been pretty fun. we hit a casino yesterday, but have yet to get on the strip. probably actually won't end up going to the strip just because of my money situation. i wasn't able to come out here with the amount of money i would have liked to. its all good though considering that i'dmuch rather stay in doors somewhere like this house since it happens to be 115 degrees out. its is dreadfully hot. i'll probably end up getting used to it around the time i leave on thursday. i was quite surprised when i got off the airplane on friday and it turned out to be 95 out. it was about 11pm, too. lol.
lonnie has been calling me and giving me reasons not to feel too homesick since i get to talk to her. haha. she was saying she should have come out here with me so we could have caused lots of trouble together. its nice to have someone to care about etc. i told my dad a little of our "situation" in a jokingly manner, but he made it kind of serious and started talking to me about how good it could be etc. i told him that i think its best if nothing more than friends comes out of our relationship and he laughed saying: "we'll see what you say in a few months to a year, i doubt you'll just be friends." so, yeah, that was interesting. i haven't talked to my father about love interests in who knows how many years. it was nice though. we happened to be at an irish pub here, too so i had gotten a bit tipsy. haha, a bit.
its really nice to finally be spending time with my dad again. i'll have to see how the rest of the week goes since he won't be around the house and there is NOTHING here since the movers won't be coming until the 26th or something like that. i'm as excited about getting back as i am about being here because the modest mouse concert will be just around the corner when i get home. its going to be a shit load of fun. i think i'll be coming out here a lot more often now that i have more reasons to than just gambling. its nice. plus, i haven't smoked a single cig in almost two days so i have soooooo much energy right now and i am typing far faster than i ever do...i love it. yay. hurrah hurrah.
alrighty, i am off to do whatever it is that i am going to do. :lol: :lol: :lol: :roll: :wink: :idea: :arrow: :?:
slumped over in a vacant room, head on strangers knee...
07.09.04 (3:07 pm) [edit]so, i will probably not be blogging at all this coming week. i am going to vegas to spend time with my poppa. don't get too lonely around here without me...lol. yeah, right.
anyway, quitting smoking cigs isn't working out so well. i ended up buying a pack yesterday. felt pretty bad about it, but i was feeling SO stressed...it wasn't good. although, i am still going to be quitting soon...so, yeah. lol, if i can handle my weakness and not give in. hmm...i am sure i can. any suggestions from anyone to help quitting? i'd appreciate some pointers...haha.
[LINE]
i had a conversation with lonnie last night that was pretty cool. we had never really talked about it and i don't remember how it started, but we were talking about beliefs and religion etc. it was crazy because i don't ever remember having a conversation with her about it. and i found out something that she hadn't even remembered until the conversation - she had been a youth group leader...well, she taught some bible stuff to some kids anyway. i laughed, but i thought that was really cool. lonnie isn't really the type of person to do something like that, but it had been during her highschool time i believe. anyway, she told me that she wasn't quite sure if there is a "higher power" or not when i asked her if she believed in god. she said she used to pray a lot when she was younger, but not anymore. what she said was more of stating that she had faith in herself and the world around her. i had never really known her spirtual side as she never does anything to reveal it. i thought to myself that, for some reason, it was important to know that about her. i went off on a tangent telling her how i love to know what makes people happy spiritually. i might not agree with what people believe, but i have absolutely no problem with it because thats what makes people who they are. its important to know that side of people as it really does explain them in deeper detail. i love hearing about what people believe in and why. me? i'm not at all religious, but i do have faith in myself and my surroundings. i believe in the powers of humanity to draw closer and develop more of an understanding as to who someone is.
so, yeah, i found something out that i didn't know before...apparently nobody really knew that about lonnie. she said she had never really talked about it and that to talk about it made her smile...it helped her understand herself and me a little bit more and vice-versa. its great to be able to communicate with someone about things like that. and to tell you the truth, i don't EVER talk about religion with my friends or my family. i think, however, that it is important to talk about things as such...even if you are a non-believer. remember, you'll find out more about yourself and the people around you if you talk about the things you never talk about. lol, funny but true.
[LINE]
so, i am off now. i don't know if i will post again today, but i might. until i post again, fare thee well.
-chris.
LAWS!
07.09.04 (1:40 pm) [edit]heres a list of some CRAZY FUNNY laws in the USA......all true, too...no joke!
[LINE]
Alabama
* It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
* Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.
* It is illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.
California
* Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses.
* Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.
* Bathhouses are against the law. [Get the full text of this law.]
* It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.
* Women may not drive in a house coat.
Florida
* Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.
* A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
* If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
* It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
* Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
* Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
* It is illegal to skateboard without a license.
* When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.
Kansas
* Prohibits shooting rabbits from a motorboat.
Louisiana
* It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.
Indiana
* It is illegal for a liquor store to sell cold soft drinks.
* Liquor stores may not sell milk.
Michigan
* You may not swear in front of women and children in the state of Michigan.
Nebraska
* It is illegal for bar owners to sell beer unless they are simultaneously brewing a kettle of soup.
New York
* A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.
* It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun.
* A license must be purchased before hanging clothes on a clothesline.
* The penalty for jumping off a building is death.
North Dakota
* Beer and pretzels can't be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.
* It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.
Ohio
* It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday.
* It is illegal to get a fish drunk.
Pennsylvania
* A person is not eligible to become Governor if he/she has participated in a duel.
Texas
* It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.
* It is illegal to drive without windshield wipers. You don't need a windshield, but you must have the wipers.
* It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.
* It is illegal to milk another person's cow.
* A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
* The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.
Wisconsin
* You must manually flush all urinals in a building.
* Butter substitutes are not allowed to be served in state prisons.
SLOGANS!!
07.09.04 (12:07 pm) [edit]alrighty, yesterday posted a blog to see who could fit the product/company to the slogan! here's the answers!
1. _______ the San Francisco treat.
Rice A Roni
2. _______ makes hamburgers taste like steakburgers.
A-1
3. Bring out the ______ and bring out the best.
Helmans Mayo
4. Better things for better living through chemistry.
Du Pont
5. Betcha can't eat just one.
Lays
6. How do you spell relief? ROLAIDS
7. I'd like to buy the world a ______.
Coke
8. Like a good neighbor ______ is there.
state farm
9. Look, Ma, no cavities!
Crest
10. Let your fingers do the walking.
Yellow Pages
SLOGAN GAME
07.08.04 (4:21 pm) [edit]since slogans are actually a HUGE part of american culture, you should be able to put a product/company name to the following slogans. try it! i'll post the answers tomorrow!
1. _______ the San Francisco treat.
2. _______ makes hamburgers taste like steakburgers.
3. Bring out the ______ and bring out the best.
4. Better things for better living through chemistry.
5. Betcha can't eat just one.
6. How do you spell relief?
7. I'd like to buy the world a ______.
8. Like a good neighbor ______ is there.
9. Look, Ma, no cavities!
10. Let your fingers do the walking.
malaysia.
07.08.04 (1:49 pm) [edit]Malaysia's coastline is 4,800 km long and has over two hundred islands.
The Great Cave in Borneo is the site of the discovery of Southeast Asia's oldest human remains, dating from 40,000 years ago,
The Orang Asli, the aboriginal people of the Malaysian Peninsula, total over sixty thousand people.
Malacca is Malaysia's oldest town.
Malaysia has the world's oldest rain forests.
The forests of Sabbah are the home of trees towering over one hundred meters high.
Clearwater Cave, at over 100 km, is the longest cave in Southeast Asia and contains many stalactites. The Lady's Cave is named after a stalactite which is said to resemble a statue of the Virgin Mary.
Underground rivers and caverns below the Clearwater Cave were formed millions of years ago. The water is said to restore youth.
A strange bird, found in Malaysia, is the Burung Tambun, which has large feet and meows like a cat. It lays its eggs in "nests" of sand and leaves - the heat from the fermentation of the leaves keeps the eggs warm as they develop before hatching.
Rafflesia, named after Sir Stamford Raffles, the founder of Singapore, is the world's largest flower and is found in the Malaysian rain forest.
The island of Borneo is the home to some of the world's strangest plants. One carnivorous plant is said to be able to trap and digest small mammals and frogs and lizards.
The climbing plant, Mussaendra mutabilis, is traditionally used as a perfume.
Various species of turtles lay their eggs on Malaysian beaches: leatherback turtles at Rantau Abang; hawksbill turtles at Pulau Gulisan and green turtles at Pulau Selingan.
The tarsier, a small primate, which lives in the Malaysian forests has huge round eyes and frog-like hands and feet.
Langkawi Crocodile Farm, at Telak Datai, which is open to visitors, has over one thousand crocodiles.
The Natural Rubber Museum, which has exhibits detailing the development of the rubber industry in Malaysia, is housed in the Rubber Research Institute's Experimental Station in Sungai Buloh.
The logo for the XVI Commonwealth Games, held in KL, is derived from Malaysia's national flower, the hibiscus.
The mascot for the Commonwealth Games, held between 11th and 21st September 1998, was an orang utan.
The orang utan which live in Borneo weaves a new bed of leaves on the treetops every day. Its name means man of the forest. Competitions between pet songbirds are popular.
Shadow-puppets are a traditional entertainment in Malaysia.
Top-spinning, sometimes using tops the size of a dinner plate, is a traditional Malaysian game.
Kite flying is a popular pastime in Malaysia.
James Brooke, an Englishman, born in India, was given the region now known as Sarawak in return for helping to put down a rebellion in Borneo. He was called the White Rajah.
Paul Theroux, the American writer, who taught at the University of Singapore wrote Saint Jack about Malaysia and Singapore.
Anthony Burgess, the English writer most famous for 'A Clockwork Orange', lived in Malaysia for six years and wrote a trilogy of novels about the country.
Jimmy Choo, London's most famous shoe designer, was born in Malaysia.
Kedah, known as the "Rice Bowl of Malaysia" is the home of the Kulim Hi-Tech Park. The KHTP is a national project promoting the commercial development of science and technology. Homes in and around the Park are equipped with PCs and internet access: the telecommunications industry is one of Malaysia's most rapidly expanding services.
The major Islamic events are connected with Ramadan, the ninth month of the Muslim calendar. The major Malaysian festival is Hari Raya Puasa, which marks the end of Ramadan with three days of joyful celebrations. Hari Raya Haji marks the successful completion of the hajj (pilgrimage to Mecca) with a two-day feast of cakes and sweets. Chinese New Year, in January or February, is welcomed in with dances, parades and much good cheer. The festival of Thaipusam in late January is one of the most dramatic Hindu festivals (now banned in India) during which devotees honour Lord Subramaniam with acts of amazing masochism - definitely not for the squeamish. In KL, devotees march to nearby Batu Caves; in Penang, the event is celebrated at the Waterfall Temple. The Kota Belud Tamu Besar is a huge tribal gathering held in May at Kota Belud near Kota Kinabalu in Sabah. It includes a massive market, traditional ceremonies, ornately decorated horsemen, medicine men and tribal handicrafts. A smaller tamu is held in Kota Belud every Sunday if you're not visiting during May.
Malaysia is hot and humid all year so you're going to have sunshine and sweat pretty much whenever you visit. It is, however, best to avoid the November to January rainy season on Peninsula Malaysia's east coast if you want to enjoy the beaches. The time to see turtles on the east coast is between May and September.
looks like the navigator needs a pilot...
07.08.04 (1:43 pm) [edit]
[LINE]
"LOST IN ADMIRATION, HAPPY BIRTHDAY I'M FOREVER YOURS..."
i was thinking about my past a few minutes ago. its too vague to be a memory, but too vivid to be a dream. ever feel like that?
anyway, most of you who read my blog know that i spent three years in malaysia. it was probably the best time of my life and, at times, the worst. thats just how it goes though. the place you spend growing up is everything in one. even though i only spent 3 years there, it is the place i discovered who i am and who i want to be.
when we approached the airport in malaysia, i was shaken with fear. all i could see out the window below the airplane was a vast tropical forest. i was in awe. i had never seen anything like that before, i was 14 and over seas for the first time in my life. i didn't know what was to become of me, but i knew that it was time to find out. being an american in a third world country is pretty crazy. the first thing i remember after getting off the plane is a really long line going through customs. they checked and stamped my passport and i filled out some papers. it was interesting.
after getting past customs, i found myself at the baggage claim where numerous people from around the world searched for their bags. nothing had appeared different from an american airport, but i knew that something amazing waited for me outside. so, i opened the doors and felt the jungle air. i also noticed that i was somewhat taller than everyone. i found that rather amusing and somewhat comforting.
on the way to the hotel, i read every single billboard. i even tried to sound out the ones that were written in malay. the girl who picked us up asked me if my hobby was reading billboards, i laughed and replied: "it is now."
[LINE]
ack. sorry, almost got caught in a really long trip down memory lane. lol. moving on to what i was thinking about getting to....
malaysia. a place to grow up spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. being there opened me up to a world i knew nothing of. i studied and practiced various religions and philosophies. i made the best friends i ever had and lost some along the way. i grew an understanding of how the world works and why. i walked through jungles barefoot only to find myself face to face with a tiger. i trekked through swamps and rivers just for something to do. i fell in love for the first time. i became familiar with what missing someone really means. i became me only to discover myself again when i got back to the states. i lost touch with what it meant to be american, but didn't give a shit. i was an ex-pat and this new world was foreign. at the same time, it felt like home. to this day, my heart is there and i crave to venture back one day. if you ever get the chance. GO THERE! you will learn as much as you will forget.
if you'd like, feel free to visit any of the following sites for images......
- http://www.molon.de/galleries... - Malaysia Photo Gallery
- http://www.asiatravelinfo.com... - Asia Travel Info
here.
07.08.04 (11:36 am) [edit]i have read the teachings of a lost tribe and found solice in that ancient tongue.
i have heard voices from a forgotten love and exercised my right to refute them.
i have tied myself to the bonds of life and willingly executed the dismissal of meaning.
still i am blinded by some religious light, a monument to the sacrifice we eagerly await.
and to this my father tells me there is no reason to deny what i have placed my pride in, just another gamble on a thought. if i had originally meaned to get somewhere and found myself nowhere, i am not stranded nor lost - only excited to bury the past. i anticipate tranquility with the lust of a teenage boy at 23.
i am here.
goin california
07.08.04 (10:38 am) [edit]wait, i'm already in california...but that song is really good so it doesn't matter.
dr. pepper is simply amazing. i've been hooked on the shit for who knows how long and can't even go a daywithout at least 2 of them. if i do go without dr. pepper for a day, i feel like something is missing from my life. its like the blanky you had when you were little, its there to keep you happy, warm, and safe. as i sit here drinking my DP, i realize that the world is not such a bad place. if man can come up with a drink so great, imagine what else we could accomplish! maybe even one day we'll be able to fly!
[LINE]
Dr Pepper Company is the oldest major manufacturer of soft drink concentrates and syrups in the United States. It is America's unique flavor and was created, manufactured and sold beginning in 1885 in the Central Texas town of Waco.
Dr Pepper is a “native Texan,” originating at Morrison's Old Corner Drug Store. It is the oldest of the major brand soft drinks in America. Like its flavor, the origin of Dr Pepper is out-of-the-ordinary. Charles Alderton, a young pharmacist working at Morrison's store, is believed to be the inventor of the now famous drink. Alderton spent most of his time mixing up medicine for the people of Waco, but in his spare time he liked to serve carbonated drinks at the soda fountain. He liked the way the drug store smelled, with all of the fruit syrup flavor smells mixing together in the air. He decided to to create a drink that tasted like that smell. He kept a journal, and after numerous experiments he finally hit upon a mixture of fruit syrups that he liked.
To test his new drink, he first offered it to store owner Morrison, who also found it to his liking. After repeated sample testing by the two, Alderton was ready to offer his new drink to some of the fountain customers. They liked it as well. Other patrons at Morrison's soda fountain soon learned of Alderton's new drink and began ordering it by asking him to shoot them a "Waco."
Morrison is credited with naming the drink "Dr Pepper" (the period was dropped in the 1950s). Unfortunately, the origin for the name is unclear. The Museum has collected over a dozen different stories on how the drink became known as Dr Pepper.
Dr Pepper gained such widespread consumer favor that other soda fountain operators in Waco began buying the syrup from Morrison and serving it. This soon presented a problem for Alderton and Morrison. They could no longer produce enough at their fountain to supply the demand.
Robert S. Lazenby, a young beverage chemist, had also tasted the new drink and he, too, was impressed. Alderton, the inventor, was primarily interested in pharmacy work and had no designs on the drink. He suggested that Morrison and Lazenby develop it further.
Morrison and Lazenby were impressed with the growth of Dr Pepper. In 1891, they formed a new firm, the Artesian Mfg. & Bottling Company, which later became Dr Pepper Company. Lazenby and his son-in-law, J.B. O'Hara moved the company from Waco to Dallas in 1923.
In 1904, Lazenby and O'Hara introduced Dr Pepper to almost 20 million people attending the 1904 World's Fair Exposition in St. Louis. The exposition was the setting for more than one major product debut. Hamburgers and frankfurters were first served on buns at the exposition, and the ice cream cone was introduced.
From 1910 to 1914, Dr Pepper was identified with the slogan, "King of Beverages." "Old Doc," a typical country doctor character with monocle and top hat, became the Dr Pepper trademark character in the 1920s and 1930s. During that era, research was discovered proving that sugar provided energy and that the average person experiences a letdown during the normal day at 10:30a.m., 2:30p.m. and 4:30p.m. A contest was held for the creation of an ad using this new information. The winner of the ad campaign came up with the famous advertising slogan, "Drink a bite to eat at 10, 2, and 4." Dr Pepper's slogan in the 1950s was "the friendly Pepper-Upper," which led the brand into the 1960s when it became associated with rock and roll music and on Dick Clark's American Bandstand TV show.
With changing times came changing slogans. To broaden its appeal across the nation, Dr Pepper hailed itself as "the most misunderstood soft drink," and then in the 1970s became "the most original soft drink ever in the whole wide world." In 1977, Dr Pepper advertising was marked by the famous "Be a Pepper" campaign, and today Dr Pepper's slogan is "Be You."
far away coast
07.07.04 (8:54 pm) [edit]"Sometimes the mind, for reasons we don't necessarily understand, just decides to go to the store for a quart of milk." - Diane Frolov and Andrew Schneider
so, looks like i'll be going to help my dad move in to his new place in nevada, 20 miles from vegas. thats interesting considering its been years since i've spent time with him just me and him. it makes me really nervous and then i find myself questioning the nervousness because he is my father. at the same time, its natural to feel nervous given the circumstances. maybe i'll blog about the specifics later on, but thats allowing people i don't know into a whole new area of my life. however, its important to do that because it will allow me another form of vent and have it open for advice etc. though things have pretty much been worked out, however, there are still some aggression there.
noticed something strange in the bushes earlier, not quite sure what it was. maybe it was me and nothing was really there at all, but the bush was moving and there were noises. reminded me of a time i was really little and the same thing happened. i think it might have just been a dream, but i was being chased by something in the bushes and it was quite scary. i started to laugh at the thought of such a thing and continued on my way. it was also a lot like the time i was little and we were at the aquarium...i swear that whale wanted my blood.
my friend jon says i think too much and therefor should check into an asylum. lol. that'd be nuts. no, wait, i would be nuts. anyway, we were talking earlier today and he said: "chris, i think its time you stopped thinking all together. you think too much. i'm going to help you to stop thinking, we'll work through this together." wait, i remember now...it wasn't jon i was talking to...it was that dude i see all the time in the mirror. hes a strange one.
fuck.
tired.
lazy.
hungry.
lazy.
tired.
friendship.
07.07.04 (1:20 pm) [edit]"Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation." - George Washington
[LINE]
i've come to realize that there is not much difference between friendship and relationship. the situation with lonnie has taught me quite a bit about the bonds of both. i understand the differences between friends and lovers very very well now.
taking a look at friendship:
what does friendship envolve? sharing experiences and growing together with each, sharing your subtleties, sharing your secrets, knowing eachothers smiles, remembering the best and worst times, and having someone there to comfort you when you need it most. it has been said that you come to know your true friends during the worst times. i do not believe that anything is more true. your friends are always there for you and nothing can change that...and nothing can make you happier.
taking a look at relationship:
basically everything i just said explains relationship. think about it, the only real difference is that a relationship is more physical.
i understand that this is a very brief entry on a very long subject and that i am missing a lot, but remember this only as an example. i believe that friendship is the best foundation for a relationship, yes, but sometimes its even better.
going crazy in the shade...
07.07.04 (12:19 pm) [edit]i woke up this morning with a hangover. it wasn't a bad bad hangover, but it was a hangover nonetheless. wasted my time at a hotel party last night. why? i don't know, sounded like it "might" be cool. no, it wasn't really, there were far too many people all pressed into a very very VERY small hotel room. smoking, drinking, and talking about good times. that was kinda cool and i saw a bunch of people i hadn't seen for a very long time.
anyway, from the comments i received on my last blog entry, i think you all are fairly interested in whats going on with that. well, i didn't talk to her about anything. i was about to, but it didn't seem right. something was telling me not to so i didn't. it was a pretty confusing thought to have. haha. anyway, i've decided not to talk with her about it...at least not right now. if something doesn't feel right inside, its not right. i'm just going to go on with things and if it ends up feeling right at some point, i'll talk to her. i guess what i'm saying here is basically letting it go. if it comes back - probably will sometime - i'll test the bonds of our friendship in a relationship. so, yeah, thats my piece on that.
anyway, i punched a hole in my bedroom door last night. why? i was angry. i was angry because i was drunk. this doesn't happen often and, quite frankly, it kind of scared me. i don't remember EVER punching a hole in something. usually i am VERY good at controlling my anger and no violence ever arises. last night, however, i was feeling destructive. i'm not really sure what inside me made me feel the way i did, but i am pretty confident in the fact that it was probably the alcohol. i drank way too much last night and i don't normally do that. i used to do that quite a bit, however, when i was 19. looking at that number is strange to me...lol.
thats mindful.
thats ridiculous.
friends vs. lovers pt....4? could be part 5. damn, too many of these...lol
07.06.04 (12:37 pm) [edit]once again i find myself sitting in front of the monitor about to blog about the girl i love. its funny how being in love can make one somewhat immature, seemingly retarded, and send them back to middle school worrying about what tommy said to sue. ack. so goes life.
anyway, i was talking to some fellow bloggers on tblurt...lindy to be more precise and she was telling me to hell with all the worry and confusion: "go for it" she said. she was talking about how we'd regret it later if we never tried and i thought to myself how true that was. i'd rather die with a bad experience than die wondering "what if". so, i plan to talk to lonnie one more time about everything. this needs to get sorted out, there needs to a definite answer so there will be no more questions.
lets take one more look at what this situation entails:
1) pet names (she calls me "shnookie" i call her "lovey")
2) cuddling up close. she does it all the time to me, on my shoulder...anywhere she can get close.
3) smiling eyes. yup, we'll just stare at eachother and smile for long periods of time.
4) we almost got married in vegas. it started out as a prank, but then she walked in and started to get a bunch of info like cost and next available time.
theres more, but thats just some of the key things that make this so odd. then theres the fact that we have been friends for 6 years. thats not cool, it makes it harder to want to move forward rather than move on. shes beautiful, i love her so much. she loves me. we just don't want to screw up a great friendship. this is so difficult.
so, before i go and talk to her one more time to get this all settled....tell me what you would do in this situation. give me last minute advice etc. thanks.
major player in the cowboy scene....
07.06.04 (11:12 am) [edit]well, my bestfriend just called me here at work to tell me that her and her boyfriend just broke up. it wasn't really a surprise for either of us given that they hadn't seen eachother for a week and a half. that really pissed me off and i was about to call the fucker to tell him how he needs to treat her etc. he was being an ass and not calling or anything. it doesn't help much that i am completely in love with this girl...causes me to get extremely emotionally outraged when people treat her bad. so, she called me and told me that she needs her shnookie. do any other bestfriends give pet names? remember, opposite sex bestfriends. hmmm...i always found it rather strange since i don't see any of my friends calling eachother by pet names. something to think about?
so, this guy was originally going to go to the modest mouse concert with me, but i am thinking of giving his ticket to someone else. if he ends up paying for it then i have to give it to him, but my ex was saying she was interested in going. thats another thing i am happy about, i remain friends with my ex's...its never seemed to make them jealous of one and other...they can all understand who i am and how i work. its important to me to carry on friendships after break-ups, guess i just never broke up with anyone on bad terms. yeah, maybe i will give her his ticket...we'll see what happens.
i don't have a car. hmph. i need to get a new car, mine blew up and that pisses me off. lonnie wanted to see me today especially, she says, since she just broke up with that lame-o. i'm just not sure how i'll get there and home later on. public transport is always an option. i hate that option though, but if it means helping a friend in need then i'll probably have to end up taking the bus. we'll see.
another sunday spent dreamin...
07.06.04 (9:48 am) [edit]well, the fourth was pretty fun. ended up at my friend jons with a bunch of alcohol and explosives. are we sure we like to celebrate our independence in such a manner? well, i am. its so much fun to stumble around lighting fuses and watching things blow up in color etc. even if it doesn't emit the color, its bad ass with just the explosion....especially when you're blowing up apples and other misc fruits/vegetables. anyway, yeah, that was my fourth and i enjoyed myself.
lonnie wanted me to stop by her place for a bit to have some bbq, but we had all gotten a little too drunk to drive anywhere. besides, the only people who were there were her family. its not like i don't like her family, i just think they don't like me. her dad is this crazy 6'6" old dude that always appears so...ominous. hes a really nice guy, just scary to be around sometimes...as parents are. her mom is a short crazy woman who is WAY too nice...and that makes her scary. her mom loves me though, so its all good....she knows about what happened on a trip to vegas one time and loves me for it. lol. lonnies parents are crazy...probably because i'm coming from a perspective of being in love with the daughter. haha. anyway, moving on...
watched the movie gothika over the weekend as well, i was not impressed...but it was entertaining. also watched some of the traces of death series. its funny how people like me can sit and watch that NASTY FUCKING SHIT without a stomach turn or anything. its the shock that makes me watch i think. not recommended for the weak.
well, i think i should probably get back to work now since that does happen to be where i am. enjoy your day.
poems...yup.
07.06.04 (7:46 am) [edit]here are some more poems. not going to explain this group, figure it out for yourself and let me know what it is...
------------------------- ---
Late Evenings.
on late evenings such as these
silently pouring thoughts down a drain
just to broaden my scope on this irony
how could this happen to me,
its kind of funny when put in perspective
and i'm sure theres a reason for it...
diggin endlessly through a pattern
searching for something with meaning
and it all revolves around my head
captivating the senses
increasing intellect
in small drops of curiosity
sparking my rational side...
on late evenings such as these
so much to think about
though nothing really matters
just another way to waste the day
to broaden my scope on this feeling
how can it be so appealing,
its kind of funny when put in perspective
and i know theres a reason for it...
holding secrets from fear
in a garden full of thorns
like i was spoken of in lore
she still adores me...
------------------------- --------
Jokin'.
switch it up
miss misunderstood
standing in a puddle
like no ones gonna cuddle
just cuz you feel lonely
but you don't believe me
when i say
they dont give a damn
even if you watched
as they shook it off
as nothing was wrong
and you cough slightly
like there might be
another way out
of the mess you gotta clean
bling bling,
no time for jokes now
you got clowned
you should keep quiet
or at least keep still
cuz theres a chance we will
make it out alive
at least in one piece
in that worn out fleece
like it matters much now...
poems.
07.05.04 (2:43 pm) [edit]here are a few of my latest poems.
the first one is about telling someone what they have to do in order to get somewhere in life. stop just looking at shit from the outside, don't be so afraid of the world...don't be afraid of yourself.
the second one is about not really caring about anything thats going on and being ignorant...its so blissful.
and the final one is about being lost between what you are told and the truth.
------------------------- --------
Take Care.
you can go and look through windows
to remember why its so beautiful
to speak in melodies
to move in rythms
get lost dancin on a rain drop
glently falling down
testing the gravity...
you can stand and watch people
to listen to their laughter
to talk about old times
to find something in common
get lost smiling in the sunlight
warming up your spirits
testing your will...
like closing your eyes
to step inside a dream
you were taken someplace new
to open up a little bit
to find out who you are,
its a jungle out there -
take care.
-----------------------
Moonlight.
a rooftop jingle
a summertime swing,
a loopy little tune
in fragments of your laughter
softly through the sunlight
in an endless daze
just to laze
around inside
and we become
so light
our bodies rise up
climbing through sparkles
of your sweet little smile,
thats when we'll explode
like drums at a parade
marching through time
a beat skipped
we jumped a bit
to lightly fly downward
on a sleepy tune,
and we knew it was right
just to fly kites
and wonder where our wishes go
staring down some empty well
i suppose its time
lets just go home,
i'll try hard not to give in
but its useless not to dream
about where i might end up
if i poured your cup
of sadness into mine
since its only fair
we drift along in lazy patterns
trying to decide on what to do
where to go
and who you knew in another life
like it matters,
step into the night
let go
be happy here sleeping
as we fly into the moonlight...
------------------------- ----
Subliminal.
silent through the summer shade
i could waltz around for days
just singin in a lazy note
searching for an unknown tune
to carry me through
as i venture out there
lost in subliminal imagery
masquerading in my head
like clowns in a parade
smiling
juggling their weight
pressing down further
til they just might break
but its fine
just dandy
since its clearly
drawn on my face
some sacrifice to the future
unknowingly hopeful
about being hopeless
just workin on a shoe-string
providing that its right
to do something
i could swing there and back
just to make my point valid
since it appears to be wrong,
but i'm just waltzin
quietly in the dusk
some lazy note
to an unknown tune
lost in the summer shade
of this subliminal imagery -
care to help me?
killin time
07.04.04 (3:29 pm) [edit]well, here i am at my friend jons celebrating the independence of america. had to get out of my neighborhood for the night since i don't want to deal with stray bullets, thats just not cool. leading up to and on the 4th our neighborhood turns into a war zone. i hate knowing that i live in somewhat of a ghetto only because the rents more affordable. every day i learn not to take things for granted.
quitting cigarettes is going well. i didn't go very much cold turkey, but i have only smoked 6 cigarettes in the past three days. its very good considering that i was smoking twice that a day. i can feel the energy that is freeing up inside me as the nicotine slowly fades from my system. its really nice. going to use the extra energy on a whole slew of things. i even have a list:
1) find a new job
2) continue the filming of my documentary as it kind of drifted away.
3) going to the gym...i really need to start working out.
4) exploring my "sober" creativity. i call it "sober" because nicotine is a mind altering substance.
there is much more, but this blog entry would end up being a really long boring list of what i am going to be doing for the next few months.
i finally saw F. 9/11!! its a really good movie. i was even sitting next to two republicans who left the theatre crying and saying that they wouldn't feel right voting for bush again. i shit you not. i even checked out moore's site and saw stories of the same happenings - even in TEXAS! i am glad to see people opening up their heads a bit.
anyway, yeah, i'm kinda drunk right now so i'm going to go eat and drink some more. HAPPY 4th of JULY!
Partriot's Act: Whats more American than asking questions?
07.04.04 (12:38 pm) [edit]The Patriot's Act: What's more American than asking questions? By Michael Moore / The Los Angeles Times
July 4, 2004
NEW YORK — As a young boy, I loved the American flag. I'd lead my younger sisters in patriotic parades up and down the sidewalk, waving the flag, blowing a whistle and reciting the Pledge of Allegiance over and over until my sisters begged me to let them go back to their Easy-Bake Oven.
I loved singing the national anthem. I won an essay contest on "What the Flag Means to Me." I decorated my bicycle with little American flags for a Fourth of July parade and won a prize for that too. I became an Eagle Scout and proudly promised to do my duty to God and country. And every year I asked to be the one who planted the flag on the grave of my uncle, a paratrooper who was killed in World War II. I was taught to admire his sacrifice, and I hoped to grow up and do my part, as he had, to keep us free.
But, in high school, things changed. Nine boys from my school came back home from Vietnam in boxes. Draped over each coffin was the American flag. I knew that they also had made a sacrifice. But their sacrifice wasn't for their country: They were sent to die by men who lied to them. Those men — presidents, senators, government officials — wrapped themselves in the flag too, hoping that their lies would never be questioned, never be discovered. They wrapped themselves in the very flag that was placed on the coffins of my friends and neighbors. I stopped singing the national anthem at football games, and I stopped putting out the flag.
I realize now I never should have stopped.
For too long now we have abandoned our flag to those who see it as a symbol of war and dominance, as a way to crush dissent at home. Flags are flying from the back of SUVs, rising high above car dealerships, plastering the windows of businesses and adorning paper bags from fast-food restaurants. But these flags are intended to send a message: "You're either with us or you're against us," "Bring it on!" or "Watch what you say, watch what you do."
Those who absconded with our flag now use it as a weapon against those who question America's course. They remind me of that famous 1976 photo of an anti-busing demonstrator in Boston thrusting a large American flag on a pole into the stomach of the first black man he encountered. These so-called patriots hold the flag tightly in their grip and, in a threatening pose, demand that no one ask questions. Those who speak out find themselves shunned at work, harassed at school, booed off Oscar stages. The flag has become a muzzle, a piece of cloth stuffed into the mouths of those who dare to ask questions.
I think it's time for those of us who love this country — and everything it should stand for — to reclaim our flag from those who would use it to crush rights and freedoms, both here at home and overseas. We need to redefine what it means to be a proud American.
If you are one of those who love what President Bush has done for this country and believe you must blindly follow the president to deserve to fly the flag, you should ask yourself some difficult questions about just how proud you are of the America we now inhabit:
Are you proud that one in six children lives in poverty in America?
Are you proud that 40 million adult Americans are functional illiterates?
Are you proud that the bulk of the jobs being created these days are low- and minimum-wage jobs?
Are you proud of asking your fellow Americans to live on $5.15 an hour?
Are you proud that, according to a National Geographic Society survey, 85% of young adult Americans cannot find Iraq on the map (and 11% cannot find the United States!)?
Are you proud that the rest of the world, which poured out its heart to us after Sept. 11, now looks at us with disdain and disgust?
Are you proud that more than one billion people on this planet do not have access to clean drinking water when we have the resources and technology to remedy this immediately?
Are you proud of the fact that our president sent our soldiers off to a war that had nothing to do with the self-defense of this country?
If these things represent what it means to be an American these days — and I am an American — should I hang my head in shame? No. Instead, I intend to perform what I believe is my patriotic duty. I can't think of a more American thing to do than raise questions — and demand truthful answers — when our leader wants to send our sons and daughters off to die in a war.
If we don't do that — the bare minimum — for those who offer to defend our country, then we have failed them and ourselves. They offer to die for us, if necessary, so that we can be free. All they ask in return is that we never send them into harm's way unless it is absolutely necessary. And with this war, we have broken faith with our troops by sending them off to be killed and maimed for wrong and immoral reasons.
This is the true state of disgrace we are living in. I hope we can make it up someday to these brave kids (and older men and women in our reserves and National Guard). They deserve an apology, they deserve our thanks — and a raise — and they deserve a big parade with lots of flags.
I would like to lead that parade, carrying the largest flag. And I would like the country to proclaim that never again will a war be fought unless it is our last resort.
Let's create a world in which, when people see the Stars and Stripes, they will think of us as the people who brought peace to the world, who brought good-paying jobs to all citizens and clean water for the world to drink.
In anticipation of that day, I am putting my flag out today, with hope and with pride.
bored
07.01.04 (3:28 pm) [edit]"Bore, n.: A person who talks when you wish him to listen." - Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914), The Devil's Dictionary
"A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you." - Bert Leston Taylor, The So-Called Human Race (1922)
"The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity." - Dorothy Parker (1893 - 1967) (attributed)
"Someone's boring me. I think it's me." - Dylan Thomas (1914 - 1953), in Rayner Heppenstall, Four Absentees (1960)
"Every improvement in communication makes the bore more terrible." - Frank Moore Colby
"Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored." - George Saunders, last words
"A bore is a man who deprives you of solitude without providing you with company." - Gian Vincenzo Gravina (1664 - 1718)
"The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal." - H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
"The nice thing about being a celebrity is that when you bore people, they think it's their fault." - Henry Kissinger (1923 - )
"A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience." - John Updike (1932 - ), Assorted Prose (1965)
"The penalty for success is to be bored by the people who used to snub you." - Nancy Astor (1879 - 1964)
"Every hero becomes a bore at last." - Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)
"The secret of being a bore is to tell everything." - Voltaire (1694 - 1778), Discours en vers sur l'homme, 1737
"Life is as tedious as a twice-told tale
Vexing the dull ear of a drowsy man." - William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616), "King John", Act 3 scene 4
"[S]he refused to be bored chiefly because she wasn’t boring."- Zelda Fitzgerald, 1922
i agree.
07.01.04 (1:11 pm) [edit]i've been reading random blogs. again. and again. and, yet again. it happens. i can't control it, theres a link and it MUST BE CLICKED. so, click click click.
seems every blogger has the same things to say just in different ways. its kind of like the world, everythings the same...just different in its own way. being unique is important, but i heard somewhere that nobodies thought is new - its just new for them. nothing has been thought of that wasn't thought of before. i suppose thats true, but it almost takes the fun out of everything.
when it comes down to it, the world is just one huge garbage can of thoughts that never gets emptied...just recycled. its funny to look at the world that way, puts everything in a much different perspective. theres one area where thoughts from the world cluster together and spread out so that everyone will have those thoughts somewhere within them. the world is a giant playground where we all share our toys.
sometimes when i think in this way, the thought of being crazy comes to mind. "are these my thoughts? my feelings?" of course they are, but thats not to say that they are only mine. the world feeds off of itself, thats the only reason it keeps spinning. if collective thought was to die out, so would the world. there would just be no point in survival anymore - a complete stand-still. its almost scary, but very comforting at the same time...only because i know that we'll never stop thinking.
i felt like blabbering, so i blabbered. heres a quote that summarizes everything i just said:
"The best ideas are common property." - Seneca (5 BC - 65 AD), Epistles
To: Lonnie
07.01.04 (9:56 am) [edit]You were the first person I met after I dropped out of high school only 1 year after I returned to the US from Malaysia. I remember driving by a quiet little coffeeshop in Sierra Madre and parking my car. I was very shy as I had not known anyone there, I walked in and bought a root beer. On the way outside to sit down, I held the door for you and you smiled.
When you came back out, you sat down and introduced yourself. I had made a friend. And what a friend you turned out to be.
For the longest time, we were inseperable - we did everything together. You introduced me to all of your friends and we quickly became a group, masquerading around painting things red. It was great.
Over the years we have known eachother, we have grown quite close. We always have a shoulder open for the other to lean on, we always have a smile waiting when we meet. Sometimes we sleep in the same bed and are content just to lay there and look into eachothers eyes, giggling like school children. People around us don't know what to think, but they say we fit together.
There are times I wish I could just hold you and tell you how much I care, there are times I do just that. Every day I wonder what you're up to, when I wonder, you call. There is something between us that cannot be expressed in mere words, yet we always seem to manage it. Sometimes all I want is to kiss you, but I must hold myself back.
We've spoken on these terms before and we've reached the same conclusions - we're just friends. It just confuses me when we say that and still act like lovers, just without the passion. You tell me you want passion and need to feel special - I do whatever it takes to give you what you want. You always tell me I treat you right, I always tell you I treat you better. Yet, theres no place to go to besides where we are.
With that said, I want to tell you that I cannot continue to walk this path. I love you too much not to be able to. If what we tell ourselves is true, we are only friends and nothing can change that - maybe we should act like it? You know how I feel, I know how you feel...we need to get this settled. I'm not playing anymore games, its starting to hurt.
its a fine day, people open windows, they leave their houses...
07.01.04 (8:56 am) [edit]so, today is a day to get back into shape. yup, i've decided to quit smoking marijuana today. also, i plan to quit smoking cigarettes. however, i am not going to quit two things at the same time - it'll never work. i plan to quit the easiest first - good ol' mary jane. after some time of cutting down, i'll quit smoking cigarettes as well.
this may come as a little bit of a surprise to anyone out there who reads my blog or talks to me on aim or whatever because then you know that i am a huge advocate for the legalization of marijuana. however, this does not mean that i just sit around and smoke pot all the time. i have a good job, a decent apartment, and i pay all my bills. i'm just getting a little bit slower in my day to day routine due to smoking a lot of pot on off time. so, i'm going to quit for a little while. i do this every few months. i'll smoke a bit for a few months and then decide to quit for awhile. keeps everything in a steady balance.
i'm also planning to start looking for a new job within the next week or so. times here are good, but theres just no atmosphere. i can wake up everyday and know pretty much exactly whats going to happen that day as it is the same as every other day. i come in around 9 and do what i need to do until i leave at 5 or 6 or 7 or sometimes even 8. it gets shitty sometimes because i'll finish EVERYTHING i had to do and some stupid fuck who couldn't do something right will come to me for help at the end of the day. so, me being who i am have no problem helping someone. however, that word is used to broadly. "helping" in this case means: "hey, can you do this for me? i don't know how and have to get home early." its amazing how much someone can say without really saying anything at all. oh, well, i am sure things will get better.
anyway, i'm going to go get back to work now.