USES FOR CONDOMS
04.30.04 (5:43 pm) [edit]
did i post these already? oh well if i did.
04.30.04 (3:56 pm) [edit]don't know if i posted these before, but here they are anyway......
------------------------- ----
Better Now
(written in 2002)
right now you probably need a hand
you were always afraid to take a stand
for everything you thought you believed in
thats why you always take it on the chin,
i just wanted to offer you solace
but i could never keep a promise...
remember all those good times
like listening to the wind chimes
under that star filled sky
when you sang that lullaby,
you let me cry on your shoulder
we've grown a little older...
can you show me another way
what am i supposed to say
when you just stand there crying
you always think i'm lying,
but i truly am trying -
everyone wants a second chance
can i please have this dance
i'd like to show you how
i'm a better man now...
------------------------- -----------
Streak
(written in 1997)
across the sky
like a comet
you streak...
i see your
brilliant light,
the way you
illuminate the night
is that of a goddess
from up above...
you aren't with me
anymore,
it makes me cry
makes me wonder
why its all gone away
so fast...
as long as i know
that you are happy,
thats all i need to know,
all i need to know
and all i really
care about...
across the sky
like a comet
you streak...
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Portraits (of Prophets)
(written in 1998)
Portraits of prophets
hang on the walls
of tomorrow,
reminding us of what
we left behind...
Involking fear
in hearts
of many
and hope
in hearts
of others,
some try to
forget
and others
strive to
remember...
Their words
scattered
in graffiti
on city streets,
their dreams
are alive
within the
children...
Some follow
as others
take up
where they
left off...
Portraits of prophets
hanging high above
my head...
------------------------- -
leave a comment, earn a tbuck!
i hate today
04.30.04 (2:36 pm) [edit]its not like there is anything wrong with today, but its just one of those days. i'm not in a pissy mood, theres nothing i have to be unhappy about, and theres not much going on at the office. still i find myself hating today.
lastnight was a whole lot of nothing. just sittin around, doing whatever. we did watch another bust right down the street...that seems to happen a lot where i live, maybe i should look into moving somewhere else? nah, i like where i am. all the people i know in the area are really nice and i have not one complaint. plus, it gives me something to do when there is nothing else to do...just wait for the ghetto bird to fly over and point its shiny light on some not-so-innocent man who is believed to be carrying a .45 i dunno, its cool.
going to see some band play tonite with a few friends. i guess the band is called artichoke and plays music similar to modest mouse. it'll be cool, i'll drink a bit and have a ball. dunno about the name of that band though, sounds kind of iffy.
besides all that, i still hate today and have no good reason for it. maybe i'll stop hating today later on?
kinda funny
04.30.04 (2:09 pm) [edit]A middle aged woman decides to have a face lift for her birthday. She spends
$5000 and feels pretty good about the results.
On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before
leaving she say to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old
do you think I am?" "About 32," is the reply. "I'm exactly 47," the woman
says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald's and ask the counter girl the
very same question. She replies, "I guess about 29." The woman replies,
"Nope, I'm 47."
Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on
her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and
asks the clerk this burning question. The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30."
Again she proudly responds, "I am 47, but thank you."
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man the same question.
He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eye sight is going. Although, when I was
young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very
forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then I
can tell you exactly how old you are."
They wait in silence on the empty street until curiosity gets the best of
her. She finally blurts out, "What the heck, go ahead."
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and under her bra and begins to
feel around very slowly and carefully. After a couple of minutes of this,
she says, "Okay, okay,...how old am I?"
He removes his hands and says, "Madam, you are 47."
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "that was incredible, how could you
tell?" The old man replies, "Promise you won't get mad?" "No", she says.
He replies, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
did you know....?
04.30.04 (1:46 pm) [edit]The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400
All mammals, regardless of size or lifespan have nearly the same amount of heartbeats and breaths occur during thier lives. However, humans have nearly three times this amount in their lives. Nobody really knows why this is.
US Congress has confirmed that Alexander Graham Bell did not invent the telephone after all. It was actually invented by a little-known Italian inventor Antonio Meucci - Bell is thought to have copied his work.
You're born with 300 bones, but when you get to be an adult, you only have 206. (They fuse together such as the parietal, occipital of the skull.)
Medical students have to learn 10 000 new words - they learn more in their first year than a language student would in the same time.
One in ten Europeans born in the early Nineties was conceived on an Ikea bed.
Approximately 100 people chock to death on ballpoint pens every year.
Last True and False still has not been answered.........
cats and dogs
04.29.04 (4:01 pm) [edit]The Truth About Cats and Dogs
A dog thinks: "Hey, those people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me . . . they must be gods!"
A cat thinks: "Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me . . . I must be a God!"
What is a Cat?
Cats do what they want.
They rarely listen to you.
They are totally unpredictable.
They whine when they are not happy.
When you want to play, they want to be alone.
When you want to be alone, they want to play.
They expect you to cater to their every whim.
They are moody.
They leave hair everywhere.
They drive you nuts and cost you money.
Conclusion: They are tiny little women in fur coats.
What is a Dog?
Dogs lie around all day, sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don't hear you when you're in the same room.
They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
They growl when they are not happy.
When you want to play, they want to play.
When you want to be alone, they want to play.
They are great at begging.
They will love you forever if you rub their tummies.
They can never have enough toys and they leave them everywhere.
They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.
Conclusion: They are tiny little men in fur coats.
RANDOM GOODIES
04.29.04 (2:13 pm) [edit]Some words of wisdom to get started.......
"The last time somebody said, 'I find I can write much better with a word processor.', I replied, 'They used to say the same thing about drugs.'" - Roy Blount Jr.
"Concentration comes out of a combination of confidence and hunger." - Arnold Palmer
"Do not judge men by mere appearances; for the light laughter that bubbles on the lip often mantles over the depths of sadness, and the serious look may be the sober veil that covers a divine peace and joy." - E. H. Chapin
"Guard well within yourself that treasure, kindness. Know how to give without hesitation, how to lose without regret, how to acquire without meanness." - George Sand
Did you know.......
On average, a human being will have sex more than 3,000 times and spend two weeks kissing in their lifetime.
In the film Lifeboat, Alfred Hitchcock makes his customary cameo appearance in "before" and "after" pictures in a newspaper advert for "Reduco, the obesity slayer". The pictures were genuine as the director had just been on a crash diet.
In the Stephen King adaptation Stand by Me, the boys raise $2.37. 237 is also the number of Red's cell in The Shawshank Redemption. By coincidence, the hotel room in The Shining was changed in the film from 217 to 237.
The Gastric brooding frog of Northern Australia was discovered in the last 20 years. Scientists learned that this frog actually swallowed its own eggs, not taking them into its mouth, but actually swallowing them into its stomach, where they developed normally. When the little froglets were ready to disperse, the parent would vomit them up and off they'd go. No one knew how they suppressed their stomach acids to keep from digesting their own young. When interested scientists and pharmaceutical companies (wanting to help the 100's of millions of ulcer sufferers world-wide) went back to the remote habitats of this amazing frog, they were all gone. They are believed extinct and no one knows why.
First person to answer the following first and correctly gets 50 tBucks. yay! LOL
1. A baby born in-flight is given free air travel for the rest of his life.
2. The Mississippi state legislature removed fractions and decimal points from the mathematics curriculum of public secondary schools.
3. The derisive title of one of George Bernard Shaw's plays was changed after it wreaked havoc on theater attendance.
4. When the Titanic hit an iceberg in the north Atlantic, the silent version of the film The Poseidon Adventure was being screened aboard ship.
Good luck.
yes.
04.29.04 (1:56 pm) [edit]"The only freedom which counts is the freedom to do what some other people think to be wrong.
There is no point in demanding freedom to do that which all will applaud. All the so-called liberties or rights are things which have to be asserted against others who claim that if such things are to be allowed their own rights are infringed or their own liberties threatened. This is always true, even when we speak of the freedom to worship, of the right of free speech or association, or of public assembly. If we are to allow freedoms at all there will constantly be complaints that either the liberty itself or the way in which it is exercised is being abused, and, if it is a genuine freedom, these complaints will often be justified. There is no way of having a free society in which there is not abuse. Abuse is the very hallmark of liberty." -- Former Lord Chief Justice Hailsham
------------------------- ----------
ouch.
04.29.04 (11:16 am) [edit]ok, lastnight was a night that really should not have happened. however, it did happen so there ain't shit i can do about it. heres a small snippet of what went down....
we went to our bar to play pool and have a few drinks. met a few friends and we were having a ball. i was sippin on my jack&coke cuz that shit rocks and was bumped by a beautiful girl who was just walking in. i didn't mind...it was a girl...she was beautiful. i guess, however, that her boyfriend did mind. he took her arm and yelled a bit, i told him it was cool so he could cool off. "what the fuck! you don't tell me to cool off. shes not looking where shes goin!" i got a little bit angry, he didn't have the right to treat her like that or even TRY to talk to me that way so i told him he should take it easy, maybe step outside. "you wanna fuckin go outside with me?!" i wasn't a big fan of that idea cuz i knew he wanted to start some shit and thats pretty stupid. "yeah, thats what i thought fuck ass." ok, at this point shit was going in a direction he wanted, but refused to think about. he grabbed his girlfriend again and tried to take her outside with him...she looked like it hurt her a bit. i grabbed his hand and told him that it wasn't cool. he tried to throw a lefty, but was sadly mistaken in his judgement. i moved a little bit and told him not to try that again. he tried it again. i moved again and said it was a bad idea to fight in that bar. thats my bar. i don't own it, but everyone there is like family and that guy comes in out of nowhere trying to do that shit. so, i told him i'd take him up on his offer to outside. i downed the rest of my drink and then a shot and went outside with him. "now you're going to fuckin regret trying to get between me and my girl." no, i wasn't about to regret anything. we fought, he bled, i walked away, my friends put him in the bushes and we all went back inside to enjoy the rest of the night.
now, i am sitting here at work...hungover and in a bit of pain. i regret fighting, i don't regret standing up for someone.
dunno
04.28.04 (11:41 am) [edit]well, i didn't get a chance to post here yesterday. didn't get into the office due to some court shit. plus, i don't have the internet hooked up at home since i still don't have enough money to pay EVERY bill. ack, maybe i should start looking for another job. if i do that then i won't have any free time and i'll never be able to sleep...that sounds glorious! hmmm, thats a word that i can't ever use without sounding sarcastic. glorious! lol.
i realized that i don't really have anything to blog about so this is just one more senseless blog to add to a list that will keep growing. thats what half this shit is about, isn't it? you can sign on and just type to your hearts content whether it has something to do with something or nothing to do with anything. its great, i love it.
i've been shooting craps with my friends almost every night and ppl owe me quite a few dollars. bahahaha, they have felt THE WRATH. i owe someone 10 bucks, but i have like 6x that coming my way shortly...its brilliant. lol, thats another funny word to use. makes me feel like a brit. nothing really exciting happened yesterday though...just a day away from the office to spend a lot of it in court for something that doesn't really even concern me...oh well, it happens.
a note to juniperflux and krazedone: i'll get those poems up shortly, but haven't yet had a chance to write them. i realized its all going to be made up mumbo jumbo seeing as how i don't have anything to go on. LOL. so, keep an eye out.
a note to other people: read through this blog and comment, try my daily true and false, you'll probably learn a lot of crap. lol. who know, may be useful in your next life?
RANDOM SHIZZLE
04.28.04 (10:05 am) [edit]yeah, ok, here we go.....
"The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity." - Ellen Parr
"The nice thing about being a celebrity is that when you bore people, they think it's their fault." - Henry Kissinger
"Be sure that it is not you that is mortal, but only your body. For that man whom your outward form reveals is not yourself; the spirit is the true self, not that physical figure which and be pointed out by your finger." - Cicero
DID YOU KNOW.....
All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.
Fagin, the sinister villain in Charles Dickens' Oliver Twist, was also the name of Dickens' best friend, Bob Fagin.
In Devon, Connecticut, it is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset.
The average Japanese businessman will bow 200 times a day.
Out of all of the postage stamps in the United States with people's faces on them, there is not one that has the picture of someone alive.
If someone at gun point asks you to get into a car, don't get in. Stats show that you have a 50% chance of running away unharmed, a 45% chance of being shot but only in a minor way while getting away alive, and only a 5% chance of a fatal gun shot.
So now you know - Run.
WINNER OF TRUE OF FALSE GETS 50 tBUCKS! HERE THEY ARE.....
1. Food colorants cochineal and carmine are made from ground beetles.
2. Eating celery results in negative calories.
3. Apple pips contain a cyanide compound.
4. Drug traffickers are hiding small amounts of the deadly toxin Ricin in methamphetamine labs to kill law enforcement officers.
5. An Islamic bank is the majority owner of the Caribou Coffee chain.
YOU NEED TO KNOW
04.26.04 (4:25 pm) [edit]for some reason, i think ppl should know this.......
1) the person who rolls the joint (no matter whose weed it is) gets to spark up the joint and get first hits...
2) if someone rolls a nice joint, its good to give the person a complement on his rolling skills...
3) if someone starts bogarting the bowl and starts using the xcuse that its okay forhim to bogart it since it's his weed, this is definetely not cool. the punishment depends on the quality of the weed and how much he put in. (if it was real crappy and he was real cheap with it, then you bug on the person and rag on him :-)
4) if someone is too palsy to light the bowl (due to being too stoned or the person is just a retard :-) then they must relinquish contorl of the lighter to someone more able to get it lit. --this does NOT mean the person who lights gets free hits... this priveleige tends to get abused ("hey lemme light it for you...")
5) if someone is so much of a palsy that they blow INTO thebowl and blow all the shit on the floor, this person must be ragged on and the person cant smoke on the next round (unless it was his stuff)
6) if you smoke with someone in your house, you should let them eat some munchy food you may have lying around.. don't be cheap withyou food if you have food...
7) if someone who'se smoked asks for a sip of your soda, you must give him some.. (drymouth is not fun)
8) converse of (7): if you ask for a sip, don't take a large gulp
9) if smoking froma bong or a joint, never put the whole thing in your mouth and get it all sopping wet.. its disgusting and it messed up the joint.
10) if your smoking from a bong and these not enough in thebowl for a whole other hit, you should save the smoke in the chamber for the next person..(dont
let go of the rushhold or 'carb' and take it all yourself)
11) never bogart
12) never bitch about someone else's weed being no good! If you don't like it don't smoke it!
13) if a friend gets you high sometime in the future you need to get that friend high
14) Thou shalt not turn down a smoke. Never!
15) phrased in the form of a narrative:
OK. My buddy and I are sitting around smoking the weed that I just
scored. After flaming-up, and taking a few moderate puffs, I pass
it on. The sounds that follow can only be described as
vacuum-like. After an a couple of huge, lung-busting tokes, the guy
passes back the remnants of something that could have, at some
point, been a joint. If it's not completely "canoed", then it's
absolutely soaked. I not-so-subtly drop that old Cheech&Chong line
"Hey man, can I wring it out for you?" He just looks at me.
16) I have noticed the following: After smoking-up, the odd "crass-
monkey" will actually eat the stained, disgusting roach. This must
be because they want that "extra bit" of oil, resin, or whatever's
left on the paper. This situation can be compared to the patron of
a good restaurant picking up his "as good as empty" plate and
licking off the remaining morsels of food. Sure he got that little
pool of gravy, but was it really worth it?
17) If you buy weed from a friend or a friend of a friend, it is polite to
roll a joint, (a small one, if you wish) and smoke with the person who sells
you the stuff.
18) It is very impolite to hand someone an empty bowl, without notifying
that person of it's possible cashed-ness. A proper warning would be
'Here ya go...I think it might be cashed.
19) The person who fills the bowl is given the opportunity to take the first
hit. It doesn't matter who's bowl it is.
20) Always remember to thank a person who has gotten you high. I know it
sounds silly, but I know people who never say thanks and it gets a littly
annoying.
21) The person who brought the bud picks the music.
22) When using a bong, don't slobber all over it.
23) Again, when using a bong, DON'T blow out the ashes, unless that's what
the "homeowner" does.
24) NEVER go to someone's house EXPECTING them to catch you a buzz. Of
course, there are exceptions to this rule...
25) If you spill the bong, clean it up! (And don't forget to put water
back in it!!)
roach rules
------------
1) when the roach gets too small, if someone hasa problem with it, it is
common curtesy here to put the roach in a bowl and finish it that way..
that way the people who don't mind burjing their fingers dont get it all.
ANTS SUCK
04.26.04 (3:10 pm) [edit]ok, i am sitting at work right now and realize we have an ant problem. i keep trying to kill them, but they won't die. for every one i flick, 2 more pop up. what the fuck is it about ants?! how come when you flick them, they don't die...they just land somewhere else and appear to split into a bunch more. and what do they want from me?! i have nothing for them, yet they still crawl around looking like a bunch of retards. i really don't understand. i don't want to spray them cuz then it will smell like raid and thats something that i just can't handle smelling. jeezus, they are all over the place. they multiply faster than anything i have seen before. i really can't take it, i am going to go crazy if something is not done. why won't the fuckers just DIE when i flick them, do they have some crazy ass exoskeleton that just denies you when you flick. christ. maybe they are getting back at me for fuckin with the others in the past?
when i was young(er)
04.26.04 (1:27 pm) [edit]this picture was taken in the fall of 1998. laugh as you will. lol.
first two poems i EVER wrote.
04.26.04 (1:03 pm) [edit]Darkness.
(1995)
I look out the window
wanting to outside...
I like to stay inside
but can't seem to get anything done...
Watching shadows play on my wall
I start to feel lonely,
Darkness is falling all around...
the shaodws gone
no window to look out of
Nothing here
but Darkness.
------------------------- -
The Thief
(1995)
In the darkness
of his own
solitude
the thief stands alone...
Untrue to all
Unloved by many
Unknown to himself...
He knows the face of
Despair
and seeks a new road.
------------------------- -
PLEASE COMMENT
jibba jabba
04.26.04 (11:43 am) [edit]yup, the weekend was pretty cool. didn't drink a hell of a lot...well, ok, maybe just a little more than i feel like saying. anyway, it was cool...especially for 5 hrs of my saturday. bahahahaha. i love the fact that i have texan blood...stamina is not a hard thing to come by. lol, ok, maybe it has to be hard...but its not hard. wait, it was hard, but a good hard not a bad hard. haha.
didn't watch a whole lot of tv though. said i would comment on something i watched though..so, lets see. hmm. i watched the movie "Whats the Worst That Could Happen?" it was alright. pretty funny, entertaining enough to sit in front of the tv for an hr and a half so that should say something. i recommend it ONLY if you have nothing better to do. i also watched "Dawn of the Dead." that movie was alright. the acting BLEW, but its apparent that the movie wasn't made for the acting. haha. it had a few really funny lines in it and a whole shitload of zombie blood. good remake if it was good at all. the zombies looked tight though. recommended only if you are looking for some fast action without good actors. hurray for new day b movies!
besides all that, didn't do much. had a ball, not so stressed, and looking forward to next weekend. its monday so we'll also see how this weeks goes. WOOPAH!
RANDOM
04.26.04 (9:56 am) [edit]hello everyone. have a good weekend? i did.
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"The deepest definition of youth is life as yet untouched by tragedy." - Alfred North Whitehead
"The creation of something new is not accomplished by the intellect but by the play instinct acting from inner necessity. The creative mind plays with the objects it loves." - Carl Jung
"Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs." - Christopher Hampton
DID YOU KNOW....
In 1834, Sylvester Graham, inventor of the graham cracker, delivered a series of lectures on chastity, later published as an advice book. To those "troubled" by sexual desire, he recommended cold baths and open-air exercise.
During his lifetime, Vincent Van Gogh sold exactly one painting. In 1990, however, his painting 'Portrait of Dr. Gachet' sold at auction for $82.5 million.
The letters of the alphabet in order of frequency of use are:
ETAISONHRDLUCMFWYPGVBKJQX Z
Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
I'M WILLING TO BET YOU CAN'T GUESS CORRECTLY!! -
1. Lawyer leaves his estate to woman who gives birth to the most babies within a ten-year period.
2. During a 1972 trip to North Vietnam, Jane Fonda propagandized on behalf of the North Vietnamese government, declared that American POWs were being treated humanely and condemned U.S. soldiers as "war criminals" and later denounced them as liars for claiming they had been tortured.
3. The Great Wall of China is the only man-made object visible from the moon.
have a good one! remember, 50 tbucks if you answer correctly first...yay! lol.
DIE YOUNG
04.23.04 (4:51 pm) [edit]it has been brought to my attention that, because i write poetry, i am going to die younger than most. thats interesting. so, i would like to start planning my funeral. the e-funeral will come much sooner, but i don't have enough t-money to get prepared. this is why i am asking you - the bloggers - to help me out with a donation in tbuck form so that i can have a proper funeral. dontations can be sent directly to me and can be in any amount. thank you.
SOURCE:
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Poets die young -- younger than novelists, playwrights and other writers, a U.S. researcher says.
It could be because poets are tortured and prone to self-destruction, or it could be that poets become famous young, so their early deaths are noticed, said James Kaufman of the Learning Research Institute at California State University at San Bernardino.
For the report, published in the Journal of Death Studies, Kaufman studied 1,987 dead writers from various centuries from the United States, China, Turkey and Eastern Europe. He classified the writers as fiction writers, poets, playwrights, and nonfiction writers. He did not study the causes of death.
"Among American, Chinese and Turkish writers, poets died significantly younger than nonfiction writers," Kaufman wrote in the report. "Among the entire sample, poets died younger than both fiction writers and nonfiction writers."
Because Kaufman studied some writers who lived hundreds of years ago, it is impossible to compare their average age of death to that of the general population.
"On average, poets lived 62 years, playwrights 63 years, novelists 66 years and nonfiction writers lived 68 years," Kaufman said in an interview conducted by e-mail.
Kaufman has also studied poets and mental illness.
"What I found was pretty consistent with the death finding actually, female poets were much more likely to suffer from mental illness (e.g., be hospitalized, commit suicide, attempt suicide) than any other kind of writer and more likely than other eminent women," he said.
"I've dubbed this the 'Sylvia Plath Effect."'
Sylvia Plath was a poet and novelist who killed herself in 1963 at the age of 30.
There could also be a more benign explanation for poets' early demise, Kaufman said. "Poets produce twice as much of their lifetime output in their twenties as novelists do," he said.
So when a budding novelist dies young, few people may notice.
"A great novelist or nonfiction writer who dies at 28 may not have yet produced her or his magnum opus."
Kaufman said poets should not worry, but should perhaps look after their health.
"The fact that a Sylvia Plath ... may die young does not necessarily mean an Introduction to Poetry class should carry a warning that poems may be hazardous to one's health," he said.
probably.
04.23.04 (11:32 am) [edit]well, here i am at work...probably not going to be posting over the weekend - lack of internet at home due to lack of money to pay the goddamn bill. oh well, thats how it goes i suppose. anyway, i've been enjoying the comments i receive and reading other ppl's blogs. to be honest, i didn't think i was going to be posting this much and for this long, but its actually a lot of fun. i've become attached to it and may need to seek medical assistance soon. the psychoactive kind. hmm, that actually sounds kind of fun.
i was watching pbs this morning before i came in - the high-def one. they were talking about the roman catholic church and pope leo the tenth. that guy was one foul motherfucker. made me disrespect (if i wasn't already convinced it was dumb) the roman catholic religion. turns out that leo had a fetish. he enjoyed getting cooks to bake cakes from which nude 10 year old boys would jump out. eew. i mean, i know all that shit about priests etc goin around feelin little boys hasn't JUST started, but to think that it dates back hundreds and hundreds of years? THATS WRONG. its almost as if the religion was founded on it or that you couldn't be a priest, pope, or monk if you didn't have fantasies about 10 yr olds. not to mention that this is where selling religion started. pope leo started the selling of...fuck...i forgot what its called. anyway, they were little scrolls that forgive sins and grant direct passage to heaven. one of the sins listed for forgiveness was having sex with the virgin mary - had it been possible. i know not everyone back then thought this was good. one guy (who actually sold them for leo for awhile) began to see the harm in this and realized that it might grant passage directly to hell...not heaven. so, he wrote an open letter to the roman catholic church...basically saying that leo was a fuck-up. the church didn't like it and named him a heritic (not leo, the other dude.) anyway, this pissed me off, but at least that one guy was able to go straight against the church...and he was a MONK. so thats cool.
anyway, i'll probably sit in front of the tv at some point this weekend and share my opinion on something on monday. take it easy everyone!
I got the funk!
04.23.04 (10:47 am) [edit]All hail the Funk!!! You are among the Funkiest on
the planet, so funky people can't go near you
without becoming instantly Funky. You could
break before you could walk, and your first
words was freestylin'
How Funky are you
brought to you by Quizilla
some stuff....yeah...stuff....
04.23.04 (10:00 am) [edit]Quotes to start:
"All love that has not friendship for its base, is like a mansion built upon sand." - Ella Wheeler Wilcox
"The public will believe anything, so long as it is not founded on truth." - Edith Sitwell
"It's not that some people have willpower and some don't. It's that some people are ready to change and others are not." - James Gordon, M.D.
Did you know.....
Peanuts are one of the ingredients in dynamite.
In 1985 an Arkansas boy grew a 260-lb. watermelon.
Baboons in Kenya's Serengeti game reserve are so well looked after that they are suffering from psychological stress, said US scientists. The baboons rarely need to forage for food, and have few predators, leaving them with plenty of time on their hands in which to “worry about issues such as relationships, the group hierarchy and whether other baboons like them.”
True or False? First person to answer correctly, gets 50 tbucks. Good Luck.
1. Lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a skyscraper crashes through and plunges to his death.
2. Consumers need to be cautious that water boiled in a microwave oven can suddenly "explode."
3. Lightning strikes a church during a sermon after preacher identifies thunder as the voice of God.
CONGRATULATIONS TO [url=http://krazedone.tblog.com]KRAZEDONE[/url] ON TODAY'S T/F!!
I LOVE KERRY
04.22.04 (3:59 pm) [edit]Kerry said Bush has shown little interest in the enviornment until "election time" and said his policies for the first three years has threatened wetlands.
"He's actually proven himself very good at recycling," Kerry said of Bush. "He has recycled the deficit, the bad economic policies, the bad enviornment policies, the bad foreign policy. And thats why I hate to say this to Texas, but thats why he's got to be recycled back to Crawford."
I LOVE KERRY
RANDOM SHIZAT
04.22.04 (12:20 pm) [edit]here you go folks, some random facts and some true or false. have fun!
------------------------- --------
All of the clocks in the movie 'Pulp Fiction' are stuck on 4:20.
On their 2001 census forms, so many Britons wrote "Jedi Knight" as their religious affiliation that the government had to acknowledge the new 'religion' in its census report. "Jedi Knight" was given its own category.
In 'The Gold Rush', the boot that Charlie Chaplin eats was made of liquorice. After 63 takes he was rushed to hospital with insulin shock.
A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
True of False?
1. 'Picnic' comes from a shortening of 'pick a nigger.'
2. The word news is an acronym formed from the words north, east, west, and south.
3. A list of "Communist Rules for Revolution" was discovered by Allied forces in Germany in 1919.
CONGRATULATIONS TO [url=http://ManicDepressant.tblog....]MANICDEPRESSANT[/url] !! GOT THEM ALL RIGHT FIRST!!
Bird Bath
04.22.04 (10:25 am) [edit]this is a new poem. written a couple of nights ago. please comment!!
------------------------- -------
everything i heard that night
just like clockwork,
made so much sense it made me laugh
to think we're just like birds
in a bird bath...
though i suppose it means nothing
and somethings gotta give,
but it still won't make me think
it was all for nothing...
as we sat smoking our cigarettes
your father told us to
"get the hell out"
so we left without sarcastic reasoning
to make something of ourselves...
still its on your mind,
why you took it back -
i'm not sure...
you threw some quarters on their stage,
giggled like a 5 year old,
god you made me so damn jealous
i couldn't take the stand to plead
it was so misleading...
should have listened to my better half
though i think it might be softened,
i've dug my own damn coffin...
but everything that night was beautiful
so damn right it made me laugh,
we're all still birds
in a bird bath...
apocryphal
04.21.04 (3:49 pm) [edit]so, i was feeling a little bit sour for the first part of today. mostly sour at myself for letting yesterday go as it did. see, we had a bunch people over with our neighbors. our neighbor doesn't like a specific friend of ours, but our neighbors are really good friends of ours as well. anyway, the friend they don't like came knocking on the door and they totally dissed him - telling him to go to our apt and wait. i was in the middle of a $50 poker game so i couldn't get up. he spent almost an hour over there just watchin tv. so, i went over and offered him beer etc. he drank one and left shortly after. what confuses me is why they don't like him. they come up with all these reasons, but the reasons aren't even true. it pisses me off because they aren't willing to sit down and settle what ever differences they have. it seems like they don't like him just because it seems like a good idea not to. they don't understand, i hate ignorant behaviour. oh well...some people.
i'm feeling a little better about the whole thing since i called and apologized for the way people were treatin him. it reminded me a lot about highschool...an outcast among the "inside." i've always hated that crap, i guess mostly because i was in that situation a lot growing up. i never really fit in because i didn't have time to grow accustomed to my new enviornments. its really amusing to look back at all the things that made you who you are. it takes a lot of bad to do good, but too much good to do bad. if anyone understands that. lol.
this has been a VERY introspective year so far. it makes me happy to be getting everything situated the way it needs to be. the only thing i don't like is how much i have opened my eyes to the way a lot of the people surrounding me act. is it time for a new group of friends? is it time to talk with the friends i have and ask whats up? is it time to just shut-up and let people act however? i dunno, we'll see. :roll:
old poetry
04.21.04 (1:08 pm) [edit]some more older stuff for you to read...enjoy and please comment...
------------------------- -----------
Kinda Love Poem.
I want to be
Bob Dylan
Apart of
U2
I want to be
Eric Clapton
and Robert Smith
too...
I wish I was
someone
Just a little more
known
A little more famous
A little bit
stoned...
I wish I were
a star
a poet
sometimes a drunk
alone in a
bar...
Dr. Seuss
Siouxsie Sioux
or a guy
married to you...
But I'm none of these,
I'm just an average Joe
smokin a cig
drinkin some coffee
wanting to be the star
of the show...
------------------------- ----
Midnight (At the Beach).
i sang you a song.
i remember kissing
under moonlight
on the beach,
i remember love making
on the sand...
i remember falling stars
waves crashing,
you smiled...
lit a cigarette,
i sang you a song.
i held you tight
whispered
i love you,
you began to cry
said you loved me too...
you fell asleep,
i smiled...
covered you up
lit a cigarette,
i sang you a song.
got my feet wet
stood there shaking,
you woke up
warmed me up...
got back to the car
turned up the heater
our song played...
i sang you a song.
i sang you a song
told you i loved you
said i'd never leave.
heading home
its raining hard...
tried to stop
flipped the car.
flowers on the grave
covered you up
lit a cigarette,
i sang you a song.
i sang you a song
told you i loved you
said i'd never leave.
------------------------- ---
Optimistic.
cursed youth
unspoken unsung
suspended
trying to fall,
rose petals drop
sweet porcelain kiss...
mirror talk
closed doors
tainted wisdom
strung out...
my blindness faultered
your ignorance bloomed...
gazing eyes
falling stars
wishes made
dreams lost...
painkiller overdose
fake smiles
chemical happiness,
self sacrifice
no good cause...
my belief gone
your hope distilled...
puppy love
rough sex
teary eyes
new life...
mimes dancing
mimic our faults,
halloween masks
everyday...
what is it for?
why are we here?
kept in cages
we created.
-----------------------
Until I Wrote.
I saw a crow
just the other day,
right outside my window
where a picture of a
grey sky hung
and the memory of you
remained...
I heard thunder
off in the distance
beyond the hope
of yesterday,
and I lit another cig...
I thought of a life
less ordinary,
a life I knew
a little too well
and the rain
began to fall...
The crow spoke
words of a prophet
before his journey continued
before he took flight,
I didn't understand a word
until I wrote it down...
RANDOM FACTS/TRUE AND FALSE
04.21.04 (10:49 am) [edit]The opposite of "cross-eyed" is "wall-eyed."
The Bible has been translated into Klingon.
The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."
The correct standard English past tenses of dive and hang is dived and hanged. It is now linguistically acceptable to use dove and hung but it is not Standard English.
If a person is "aerophobic," they have an irrational fear of drafts.
TRUE OR FALSE?!?!?!
1. Some Bud Light print advertising carried in gay publications featured same-sex couples holding hands.
2. Saddam Hussein is part owner of a number of popular magazines.
3. French's mustard released a press statement to let U.S. consumers know "the only thing we have have in common with the French is that we are both yellow."
like, dude... totally.
04.20.04 (4:50 pm) [edit]so, today is a day for stoners worldwide to get together and celebrate the growth of one of mother natures finest plants - marijuana. i had a post on here not too long ago because i was curious (as i have been for quite some time) about the legality of marijuana. it was more of a light-hearted approach to the matter as i do not like to be serious very often. however, i can be at times. i decided to post a small timeline (only the most important parts) of marijuana. who its been used by, what it was used for, and what the first (though not really the first) president of the united states had to say about it. tomorrow i may update people who don't know about the nixon vs. marijuana incident...explains why its still illegal. anyhoot, heres your timeline...
2727 B.C. First recorded use of cannabis as medicine in Chinese pharmacopoeia. In every part of the world humankind has used cannabis for a wide variety of health problems.
1200 - 800 BCE Bhang (dried cannabis leaves, seeds and stems) is mentioned in the Hindu sacred text Atharva veda (Science of Charms) as "Sacred Grass", one of the five sacred plants of India. It is used by medicinally and ritually as an offering to Shiva
430 B.C. Herodotus reports on both ritual and recreation use of Cannabis by the Scythians (Herodotus The Histories 430 B.C. trans. G. Rawlinson).
1549 Angolan slaves brought cannabis with them to the sugar plantations of northeastern Brazil. They were permitted to plant their cannabis between rows of cane, and to smoke it between harvests.
1840 In America, medicinal preparations with a Cannabis base are available. Hashish available in Persian pharmacies.
1906 Pure Food and Drug Act is passed, regulating the labelling of products containing Alcohol, Opiates, Cocaine, and Cannabis, among others. The law went into effect Jan 1, 1907
1936 Propaganda film "Reefer Madness" made to scare American youth away from using Cannabis.
1972 The Nixon-appointed Shafer Commission urged use of cannabis be re-legalized, but their recommendation was ignored. Medical research continues. (nixon stuff)
1975 FDA establishes Compassionate Use program for medical marijuana.
1988 DEA administrative law Judge Francis Young finds after thorough hearings that marijuana has clearly established medical use and should be reclassified as a prescriptive drug. His recommendation is ignored.
Oct 23, 2001 Britain's Home Secretary, David Blunkett, proposes relaxing the classification of cannabis from a class B to class C. As of June 10, 2002, this has not taken effect.
thats just a few off the timeline. for the full timeline go to EROWID.ORG
as for george washington....
United States Presidents George Washington and Thomas Jefferson grew hemp, used products made from hemp, and praised the hemp plant in some of their writings. Under the laws written by today's politicians, George Washington and Thomas Jefferson would be considered a threat to society--they would be arrested and thrown in prison for the felony crime of growing plants.
had to.
04.20.04 (2:58 pm) [edit]you can sit there all you'd like,
making wishes
keeping secrets,
wrapped in someone elses blankets
wondering if its right anymore...
and i'm no one to judge,
pointing fingers
casting blame,
staring up at the night sky
wondering if i'm still wrong...
remember sharing a laugh,
having a drink,
spilling red wine on a white rug
and searching for a towel,
its about time we dried off...
i guess things changed somewhere,
i can't retrace my steps
they've been covered in petals
long forgotten...
you can sit there all you'd like,
making wishes
keeping secrets,
wrapped in someone elses blankets
wondering if its right anymore...
and i'm no one to judge
pointing fingers
casting blame,
staring up at the night sky
wondering why i still miss you...
tblurt ghetto day
04.20.04 (12:57 pm) [edit]man, wha' da fuck you want, bizatch?!
[url=http://j.tblog.com]J[/url] and i have come up with a new meaning for 4/20. usually only a stoner day, but now for tblurters everywhere, we introduce GHETTO DAY.
ghetto ::
adjective,
1. of poor quality, or poor lookin'.
2. of superior quality; excellent.
-1. playa, yo clothes are soo ghetto.
-2. Dis fra' chicken is ghetto!
RANDOM FACTS/TRUE AND FALSE
04.20.04 (9:51 am) [edit]drum roll, please.
Oscar Wilde coined the word "dude", combining the word "duds" (clothes) and "attitude" to describe his friends.
Every year about 98% of the atoms in your body are replaced.
The first paper notes printed in the United States were in denominations of 1 cent, 5 cents, 25 cents, and 50 cents. The U.S. Department of the Treasury first issued paper U.S. currency in 1862 to make up for the shortage of coins and to finance the Civil War
Most car horns honk in the key of 'F'.
A rainbow can be seen only in the morning or late afternoon. It is a phenomenon that can occur only when the sun is 40 degrees or less above the horizon.
and who among you can guess whats true and what is not...? hmm?
1. The nursery rhyme 'Ring Around the Rosie' is a coded reference to the Black Plague.
2. An elderly patient met his demise when the gurney he was strapped to rolled away with him.
3. At one time, used panties of Japanese schoolgirls were sold in vending machines in Japan.
a picture i took a long time ago of my old kitty...
04.19.04 (5:04 pm) [edit]i miss my kitty. *sniff sniff*
can't i have just one more?
04.19.04 (3:55 pm) [edit]not sure exactly why i chose that as a topic, just kind of popped into my head.
i was sitting here thinking about different things and i came to the conclusion that the end of the world may happen in my lifetime. more like drastic changes than an end, but an end to how we live our lives as a world. i was thinking of what i would do if i knew tomorrow was a) not going to be there or b) just be so different that nothing will be sacred anymore. just random little thoughts that pass through my head during the day. here's what i would do:
1. cancel all obligations
2. make good with my dad
3. party my ass off
4. tell everyone i see how much someone loves them
5. take a bunch of pain killers
6. rob a grocery store or a liquor store
7. try heroin
8. screw a bunch of hot ass girls
9. write a letter to future generations and bury it 10 feet deep.
10. take a shitload of mushrooms and watch what happens.
yup. what would you do?
22
04.19.04 (11:10 am) [edit]so, the weekend was pretty average. just cleaned up a bunch, didn't really go out...really wanted the apt to look nice. i have decided to get back out there into the world of dating. i've always hated going out with bunches of different people and only wanting one thing from it. i hate it when i can't find someone that i could become romatically attached to. lately, i've only found girls that are arousing. don't get my wrong, i love it...but i'm getting into a point in my life where i kinda want something more. its odd to feel that way, i'm only 22 and looking for something serious. damn. is that wrong? i can't help the way i feel sometimes, especially when it involves matters of the heart. its interesting to go through life just passing through and then so shortly afterwards, you feel like stopping for a drink from a fountain...and you don't want to leave so abruptly. i am really enjoying these new feelings of wanting to stick around and settling in. its been a long time since i have been able to settle comfortably and i hope i am able to. i realize now more than ever that i am "growing up." i'm transfering out of childish tendencies (ie partying a lot and not taking care of business.) i've reached a major turning point. problem is, it feels almost like i am ahead of all my friends. thats another very strange feeling since they are all somewhat older than i am. i guess i've just been taking a breather on the sidelines while they're all still frolicking happily in the sun. i don't feel unhappy though, i feel relieved and it feels good. i just hope i am able to find someone who wants the same things that i do...i have in the past and i know i shall again. its weird for me to think that i have only been in 4 relationships...they've all lasted a very long time, no less than 1 year...but no more than 2 and-a-half. mind you, i've slept with more people than i've dated...sometimes you just need to get rid of some stress and lossen up that waist. anyway, i should probably get back to work. make some comments, tell me you're perspective and "accomplishments."
-chris
RANDOM FACTS/TRUE AND FALSE
04.19.04 (9:32 am) [edit]ladies and gentlemen, here is your random shizat......
Bananas first originated in South East Asia and have been around for thousands of years. The word banana comes from the Arabic word "banan" meaning finger. Bananas do not grow on trees - in fact the banana plant is the world's largest herb.
An average chocolate bar has 8 insects' legs in it.
When Mark Twain was born on Nov 30, 1835, Halley's comet was visible over Florida, Missouri. Mark Twain predicted in 1909 that he would die when it returned. He was right. When he died on April 21, 1910, Halley's comet was once again visible in the sky.
Leonardo da Vinci, Michelangelo, Ludwig van Beethoven, Benjamin Franklin, Isaac Newton and Albert Einstein were all left-handed.
and now some true and false for you all!!
Little Mikey of LIFE cereal fame died from the explosive effects of mixing Pop Rocks candy with Coca-Cola. - t or f?
Fellow staying overnight drinks his girlfriend's contact lenses that were left in a glass of water by the bed. - t or f?
Woman discovers on call-in radio show that her boyfriend is married. - t or f?
i guess this is more like proving if urban legends are true or not. have fun with it. lattah!
RANDOM FACTS/TRUE AND FALSE
04.18.04 (10:45 am) [edit]Paramount added quotation marks to the US release title of "Crocodile" Dundee in case American audiences thought the film was about a crocodile called Dundee.
Human fingertips are so sensitive that they can feel an object move even if it stirs a thousandth of a millimetre.
According to researcher Andrews McMeel, sniffing crayons (one of the 20 most recognizable scents) has been shown to lower blood pressure.
TRUE OF FALSE??
1. A private club exists within New Orleans Square at Disneyland.
2. A lucky bargain hunter became a millionaire after finding an original print of the Declaration of Independence in the frame of an old painting.
3. Tourists who have taken rocks from Hawaiian beaches have returned them in hopes of ending streaks of bad luck.
SUBMITTIONS
04.18.04 (10:03 am) [edit]ok, i'm going to post this little "notice" one more time up here. i'v been seeing TONS of writing, art, and so much more. people have either a) been holding back, or b) just not seeing the notice. i know that my blog has been getting some fairly good traffic, i'm at 975 and haven't been on a month yet. so, for those of you that might find themselves interested at the idea of "showcasing" your stuff on the internet, take advantage of this. i am going to promote this like mad once i can launch the site. i have very few submittions as it stands right now, so please help out.
GUIDELINES
there really are no guidelines, i only ask that there is no pornography. nudes are fine, just not in a sexually explicit form.
SUBMITTIONS
submittions are actually quite broad, any work that you have created through raw inspiration. it must be an original work. just no video files. sizing is a hard thing to think about, so i will contact you directly.
WHERE TO SEND
email: dank@funkyemail.net
aim: sadlyJOKIN
if you feel the need to send hardcopies, please contact me for address.
feel free to ask questions, as i have left it pretty open-ended. thanks.
-chris
PS: the url: http://www.fixedfire.net/cmaz...
a few poems.
04.18.04 (12:55 am) [edit](this one was written after i had a very long argument with someone who was very close to me, but we don't speak anymore :(
struggling with myself
this empathy is eating me whole
i wish i didn't know you
or at least the way you feel
could keep me warm at night
it used to,
i'm too busy for it now
i'm too involved...
don't make me explain it
don't touch me
don't make me explain it
stop talking!
we believed in the same things once
but now theres nothing left inside
just the flicker of a candle
i wish you'd look deeper
read a little more further
realize you can't have it all
at least not all the time
you'd just sit there smiling
you made me so mad...
don't make me explain it
leave it be
don't make me explain it
stop talking!
i'd be a liar if i said nothing
not a thing about this life
nothing about the next
my thoughts don't matter now
no need to justify it now...
------------------------- -----------
(this one was written after some hardcore reflection on what i've been doing with my life...been quite a few places, but haven't found mine.)
found myself at the edge of a highway
walkin on tired feet
straining for a fresh breath
dusty glimpses of passers-by
waiting for a red-eye...
stuck my thumb toward paradise
feelin like a flower child
remembered hearin about better things
goin an opposite direction
blinded by sunlight from above
kneeling down as if to pray -
if only i believed in those things...
watched myself through anothers eyes
stumbling around like a fool
couldn't remember why i had tried
seemed so useless to pay attention
maybe i learned something
maybe i became someone,
wish i knew who...
tracing my shadow on the ground
i fell asleep,
found myself at the edge of a highway
walkin on tired feet...
------------------------- -------
(this poem is about a VERY awkward moment i had about 3 months ago...thats all i can say.)
its a sunday evening
theres something on your mind
another sunset spent dreaming
go for a joyride in someones car,
i'm not quite sure of it
i think i could learn from it...
theres so much to say
but nothing to do
another blank face
in an overcrowded room
there you were
speaking softly with a friend,
i'm not quite sure of you
i think i could love you...
sipping some soda next to a fire
lets have another smore
i'm sure it would be fine
theres plenty to go around,
you aren't very comfortable
though you say its ok...
its a sunday evening
i'm feeling a little different
another sunset to remember
though theres nothing special
just another little day
whisking us away,
i'm not quite sure of it
i think i could learn from it...
------------------------- -----------------
comments are welcome and encouraged! :-D
shit on a shingle
04.17.04 (10:56 pm) [edit]ever sit in front of the tv for so long you feel like you might melt in a few seconds? well, i haven't, but i feel for ya.
anyway, i'm really tired and quite drunk at the moment. i don't really know why i bothered to come in here and post...i suppose theres actually no real point in doing so...i am at a loss for words. i was watching the history channel earlier, i'm growing quite fond of it. i realized, however, that it could also be named WW2. is it just me or do they have a fascination with world war 2? seems like everytime i watch it they have SOMETHING to do with world war 2. although, it is quite cool to get a glimpse into the french underground or the facility built here during the cold war to store important documents. its fucking crazy! its like 75 miles long and 5 miles deep in a freakin mountain...it is climate controlled, they have everything they need to house at least 1000 people. its like a small underground city. wow. i am EXTREMELY happy that they are re-airing band of brothers. i remember watching it like almost 2 years ago on hbo, i had really been wanting to watch it again. so, i'm pretty happy...liking the weekends for a spot in the lazy chair. anyway, i'm out.
almost forgot random facts, yo...
04.17.04 (4:22 pm) [edit]The only McDonalds in the world with golden arches that are not yellow can be found on the Champs Elysees in Paris, because the city code would not allow for it. The arches there are white.
There is a word in the English language with only one vowel which occurs six times: "indivisibility."
The "f" word occurs 246 times in Martin Scorcese's Goodfellas - that averages out at one every 35 seconds. Around 120 of them were delivered by Joe Pesci.
On average, American men cry 1.88 times a month; Bulgarians cry 0.43 times a month.
At the Battle of Andernech in 876, Charles the Bald's army were so badly defeated and had so much looted from them that they ran naked off the battlefield.
inspired by a moment lost in time
04.17.04 (4:00 pm) [edit]they said we could go on believing,
but what were our beliefs -
did we care about our futures,
did we gain perspective from the past?
and we're both laughing at the thought,
its just so damn silly.
they said we could live the way we wanted,
but what were we searching for -
did we set our goals realistically,
did we make promises we could keep?
and we're both toasting to freedom,
just sounds so swell.
for all the reasons we give ourselves
something to make an excuse for
just watching all those buses pass...
how do you do?
04.17.04 (3:42 am) [edit]they prance around like children
singing songs they never learned
look at the way their mouths move
some stupid little game to play
like pranksters at midnight
on halloween....
dress yourself up in makeup
i like the mask you wear
makes it easier for me
if i dared to take it slow
i wouldn't get anywhere
remember not to shout
remember they can't hear you
whisper in the dark...
i guess you must have lost it
when they told you it was over
it doesn't matter though
theres nothing you can do
you pushed it too far
try to bring it back
you're lost in admiration
for the things you thought were real...
if you took the wrong way home
turn around
you might not find yourself
but at least you know you tried...
don't look at me like that
the cats might freak out
so take all that shit home
put it under your pillow
make a wish for two
will it come true?
you must have proved me wrong
all you have is a book to read,
i wrote that letter so long ago
let it go...
they dance around like clowns
trying to make up for the things they left behind
it'll never work
its too late to claim what you gave me
you left it up to chance
now the bets are closed
go home
take a pill
go to sleep
let your demons eat you up...
heat up a week old meal
cuz isn't that the way you feel
like some stupid useless valentines card?
the ocean breathes salty
04.16.04 (10:06 pm) [edit]its almost 10pm and i'm fuckin bored. there is nothing to do tonite. went to the bar...for a whole hr!!! wow! :roll: frankly, i have been getting increasingly angry at everything surrounding me. its as if i have absolutely no idea what the fuck is going on. its not like people around me are keeping anything from me, more like i'm keeping something from myself. i've been "going with the flow" for far too long now, i want more out of this whole "life" thing. lol. i'm at a seemingly dead-end job and i haven't been doing much to change it. i've been getting lonely...weird that its only when i see a certain someone. haha, yeah, "certain someone." i really wish i wouldn't shy away from situations and i could be completely open and honest to the people that matter...yet, NO, for some reason the way to do it evades me and i am left in the dark with my thoughts. ack. oh, well, perhaps i'll find my way shortly.
"i'm lonely when you're around
i'm never lonely when i'm by myself..."
thats a good song, i can't remember the name of it right now. anyway, i guess this is what i want to say:
look. i'm standing here about to open up in a way that might make you feel uncomfortable, but i need to get it off my chest. i can't keep pretending as if there is nothing inside that makes me shiver when i see you. i can't keep locking myself away, unwilling to care because it might not be right. theres an aching in my heart that plays cruel jokes on my mind, i can't just let that go. i want to be able to kiss you when you're standing there taunting me about it...silently. you know my weaknesses, you know my faults, all the little quirks that make me who i am. i know that when you laugh, you almost lose balance. i notice when you smile, your eyes seem to glow and you get nervous when we touch. i know that i love you.
yeah, ok, i'm an idiot. a scared idiot. and idiotic child. ok ok ok, whatever. :oops:
a couple older ones
04.16.04 (1:48 pm) [edit]my deep sarcastic spine tingling joy
drives through this dusty shadow
of all the things i've left behind
some dreary unknown love
singing like some stupid clown
another soft drop of haste
unforgiven by my meaningless mind
i would find a way into the darkness
of all my grey-patterned knowledge
just to see another fading memory
alone and together as a fleeting prospect of something new
down below these ignorant dreams
could my heart poison my love
a lovers misfortunate finding
things i cannot imagine through these late evenings
can't we meet someplace different
i've seen too much
theres nothing for me here...
------------------------- ---------------------
on a sunday afternoon,
walkin
hummin
some lazy tune...
i think i'll wait here,
good things are sure to come -
there she goes,
"hey, where you from?"
another forgotten sunrise
but it defies my logic
in the summer we can frolic,
and she says i'm crazy...
i just wanted to know
which way the wind blows
cuz i'm gettin kinda lonely
so can you show me
something to look forward to?
on a sunday afternoon,
walkin
hummin
some lazy tune...
"guess i'm off someplace"
she said it right in my face,
didn't care to ask why
didn't even stop to cry...
guess she thought she meant more
and i always asked: "what for?"
maybe i was wrong,
i've waited so long...
------------------------- ------------------
yeah, those are old
music you should listen to...
04.16.04 (12:03 pm) [edit]1. modest mouse. - haha, anyone that knows me knows modest mouse is my favorite and most talked about band. most people don't understand my reasoning, i don't understand why not. one of the most innovative and underrated bands i know of.
2. elliot smith. - never before have i heard such beautiful, moving, and inspiring music. possibly one of the most personal muscians ever, may he rest in peace.
3. beck. - just because beck is fucking cool. he knows how to have a good time, the meaning of entertainment. hes got the funk.
4. squarepusher. - those of you who are familiar with drum n bass know that this is the best you can get. squarepusher has been a key dj since the beginning of dnb back in 1992. taking its roots from hip-hop, jazz, and funk...dnb rocks the place.
5. phish. - just cuz i like to feel hippie-ish. hehe.
6. tool. - holy shit! how do they do it! fucking raw! i have never heard better drums and never been so curious about perfection.
7. pink floyd. - simply brilliant.
ok, i think i've made a fair list. or something like it. there are SO MANY MORE, but i don't feel like typing that much right now. post some comments, whats your musical taste?
random fact time.
04.16.04 (9:15 am) [edit]One can see the stars during the day from the bottom of a well.
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
In ancient Japan, public contests were held to see who could fart the loudest and longest!
The average U.S. farm has 467 acres; the average Japanese farm has 3 acres.
The international telephone dialing code for Antarctica is 672.
Your skin weighs twice as much as your brain.
Dromophobia: Fear of crossing streets.
In Maine, Shotguns are required to be taken to church in the event of a Native American attack.
a poem. yeah, i am bored......
04.16.04 (2:35 am) [edit]your eyes haunt me while i sleep,
waking up in panic
my head spinning in darkness,
who should i listen to?
my bloods boiling in rhythm,
i think its kind of funny
makes me feel so alive,
but it all hurts just the same...
trying to gain another stance
at least i know it might be right,
but my opinion won't matter
if all i'm left with is a blank face...
i want to tell you that you're wrong,
i'm just not sure if thats the way
since all you ever said was something about love,
wish i could remember how you said it...
theres just nothing left inside
seems so bitter and cold,
but somehow you think its sweet -
thats something i can't beat...
i guess i'll just sit here wishing
for something to take advantage of,
killing time with empty thoughts,
for another day to waste...
trying not to shed any tears
but i can't get past my fears,
all i can do is talk like a child
like i understand what you say -
i'll just smile and nod -
i wish you luck.
------------------------- ------
goodnight.
...what?
04.16.04 (2:29 am) [edit]ok, yeah, i'm in the middle of renovation. different shits going to be goin down, major changes up in here. thinking of starting a blog about something rather than nothing. however, nothing has gotten me far here...i'm climbing the charts of hot blogness. yay for me, thanks to everyone who had wasted their precious moments of futile humanity here. where that came from, i have no idea. all i know is that i am tired, but i wanted to make some changes. let me know what you think about different color arrangements throughout the development of this blog. hmm, that almost sounded good somewhere to someone i suppose? lol. ok ok ok, enough! let me know whats up, what u like etc etc etc....
DEDICATION and THANK YOU
04.15.04 (6:10 pm) [edit][url=http://fireangel.tblog.com]FireAngel[/url] has been a source of inspiration to me. my colors just wouldn't be colorful without her! so, MUCH LOVE to FireAngel for giving me what i needed to keep on truckin. 8) :lol: :shock: :P :wink:
todays randomness
04.15.04 (5:20 pm) [edit]i've decided to start a daily random facts thing, so, yeah...here we go with the first one. i found it VERY amusing! well, i think i'll put a few...one just ain't enough...
------------------------- --------------
Biologically, bumble bees technically shouldn't be able to fly. They are too heavy for how small their wings are.
An adult grizzly bear can decapitate a moose with one swipe of its paw. When it charges it can cover 100 yards in six seconds - faster than a racehorse.
American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating 1 olive from each salad served in first-class.
Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.
friends and lovers pt. 2
04.15.04 (1:14 pm) [edit]well, this entry doesn't just include information on the situation i found myself in...it includes reasoning and understanding about situations like it. i'm a tit-bit of a romantic so bear with me....
i've been looking at a few blogs and it seems this is something that a lot of people have been writing about - the friends vs lovers issue. if you are looking at it from a sexual perspective then you might be about 60% right when you say the guy is always looking for more, but there is a lot more to think about so we can't blind ourselves by only looking at the sexual side of things. you also need to consider love and what love means. you need to understand that there are many different types of love and you must learn the differences between each of them. take this for an example:
family love: what you feel for members of your family, more of a strict bond than anything.
friend love: the compassion you feel for people you can share everyday experiences with.
lovers love: (that sounds funny) its basically the other two mashed into one, you can't control it. (falling in love.)
i understand that my "definitions" are extremely broad, but i don't want to make this post too large. all types of love take time to grow and strength to nurture. however, you cannot always control what you feel for another person, but you must learn what it is you are feeling. i think it is possible for people of the opposite sex to have a plutonic relationship, as long as both parties understand the distictions. you can be friends with someone until the day you die, never loving anyone else quite as much...its just a different type of love/bond. this is what makes people jealous, being unable to understand the differences. i'm going to stop writing now or i'll just keep at it and drift further away as things just pop into my head. i just want people to realize there is a difference and how to understand the distinctions. MUCH LOVE.
add a blog
04.15.04 (12:50 am) [edit]the link just seemes so inviting. i was about to get up and turn the damn computer off, but NO, tblog had to fuckin lure me in. oh, well, it happens. today was possibly the laziest day of my life...well, no, but almost. i didn't go into the office today, it was good for mental health so i stayed home. actually, it wasn't like that at all, i was hungover and slept through my alarm clock. i hate that. i didn't even mean to stay out as late as i did lastnight or drink as much as i did. i ran into a BUNCH of friends, most of whom i don't see very often...so i "let the good times roll." i was paid off handsomly for it, but i missed a day of work. *sigh* the week to date has been pretty good, no real big complaints...but i do have the ability to bitch and moan about BULLSHIT. haha, don't you love doing that sometimes? it just feels right sometimes...so you gotta give into the urge. oops, i misplaced my thought...i'm tired. i really should be going to bed right now, but thats not going to happen and i'm thirsty. maybe i'll run off to the kitchen and grab some water. jeezus, i don't even know why i started this stupid entry anyway, its utter crap...it has nothing to do with anything that matters. ack. goodnight.
a few short poems from years back...
04.15.04 (12:10 am) [edit](from 97)
i think i might be falling
falling down again,
stumbling
stumbling around again...
and i am doing it
doing it again
the same old thing,
same old thing
for you again
------------------------- -----------
(from 97)
skies i see
blue and grey,
stars fall down
black and white...
color schemes
achetypes,
stories to remember
memories to write...
------------------------- ------------
(from 98)
Not always knowing
whats on my mind,
not always talking
about things that
make sense...
And I guess
that a piece of me
is missing,
but maybe I'm all here
just unknowingly...
Not always sure
about choices I make,
not always feeling
that I'm ok...
So maybe
I should think twice
more than once
about the paths I take...
------------------------- -----------------
those poems are from a time in my life when i was listening to the cure a lot. hahaha. let me know what u think about them. BE HONEST
a poem by me. and it sucks, go figure ;-)
04.14.04 (4:11 pm) [edit]happy go lucky
or so he thought,
just lightly stepping
taking his time,
drinking too much wine...
watching shadows float around
kinda like a puppet show,
remember when you were younger
you were starved with a creative hunger...
everyone around you stood so tall
you ran around around in circles to fall down
and someone else would pick you up,
making you feel so special...
but you can't keep saying
its all in my head
if what i see
is right before me...
and i don't know what i'm saying
i'm a bit drunk,
under a starlit dream
caressing someones hand so lightly,
happy go lucky....
a poem by charles bukowski
04.14.04 (2:41 pm) [edit]"question and answer"
he sat naked and drunk in a room of summer
night, running the blade of the knife
under his fingernails, smiling, thinking
of all the letters he had received
telling him that
the way he lived and wrote about
that--
it had kept them going when
all seemed
truly
hopeless.
putting the blade on the table, he
flicked it with a finger
and it whirled
in a flashing circle
under the light.
who the hell is going to save
me? he
thought.
as the knife stopped spinning
the answer came:
you're going to have to
save yourself.
still smiling,
a: he lit a
cigarette
b: he poured
another
drink
c: gave the blade
another
spin.
boom.
04.14.04 (1:58 pm) [edit]woah. i am so fucking hungover its not even funny. went out lastnight with a bunch of friends to our bar and introduced them to my specialty drink - a perpetual smile. enough said about that though, we all go SO DAMN DRUNK. got home around 1:30 and went to bed an hr later...waking up was SHITTY to say the least.
on the way home, i was riding in my friends hearse - hers got a loudspeaker on it...so we were fuckin with people and just being really loud drunks. when we were pulling up to my apartment building, i got the idea to fuck with my neighbors...i started acting like the cops saying we had the place surrounded and to come out with hands in the air. lol. it was fun for us drunks, but not for my neighbors :( they got SO PISSED. haha. it was a lot of fun though and i hope to do it again soon.
indie vs. emo
04.13.04 (3:28 pm) [edit]INDIE DEFINED: The term: Short for independent rock. In terms of music it would be independent of major labels/mainstream stuff.
History: grew out from 60s garage, 70s punk, and 80s post punk it started in the mid 80s as alternative/college radio music. Once nirvana hit big the alternative genre split: the popular side was just alternative(Smashing Pumpkins, Hole, No Doubt, etc.) and the other half that wasn't mainstream(by choice or not) became indie rock(Pavement, Sebadoh, Built To Spill, etc).
Some bands have signed to major labels but are still considered indie(Modest Mouse, etc.). Go figure.
Sound: In the begining indie sounded like alternative(because it was) but it grew more experimental and weird. In Britain indie has more of a typical sound like Radiohead, Muse, etc. rather than a definition based on 'the scene.'
The scene: if you really think all indie kids do is try to be cooler than other people then... well.. you're mostly right. The main point is, don't take the scene and the whole hipster attitude seriously. No one does. And if you do, well, then I'm cooler than you.
EMO DEFINED: Started in the 1980's after the demise of Minor Threat and Birth of Embrace and Rites of spring. It was a sub genre of hardcore driven primarily by emotion instead of the screaming, fast drums, loud guitars, etc. of traditional hardcore. The term was coined by Ian McKaye (who was the lead singer of embrace and now currently plays in Fugazi) during an interview.
please don't get them confused ;-) please leave comments and/or your own definitions! (btw, i am not an emo fan...but i am an indie fan) :wink:
introduction
04.13.04 (12:37 pm) [edit]well, i've been posting a lot of stuff on here, but i have failed to mention anything about myself. i am now going to change that, heres some info on yours truly:
name: christopher allen mayes
d.o.b: oct. 2, 1981
hometown: houston, tx
living now: los angeles, ca
mother and father: john mayes and donna henley
siblings: 2 older brothers - arthur and ben. 2 younger half-sisters - aisha and sofia.
hobbies: writing, chess, friends, sex, reading, hiking, camping, music, and much more.
i was born in texas, but spent most of my life moving around from place to place...my fathers job wanted us everywhere. my parents were seperated when i was about 8 and my brothers and i lived with my father in indiana...after which point my father and i moved to malaysia. my brother art stayed in indiana and ben went to live with my mom here in california. both parents remarried and when i came back from malaysia, i came to california to live with my mom. in all, i've lived in california for a round total of 14 years...so a good portion of my life.
ok, now i've given a brief little bio...yup.
ok ok ok
04.12.04 (10:50 pm) [edit]you can't blame me for being bored. you can blame me for a lot of other things, but remember - i didn't mean it :wink:
anyway, i'm sittin here, thinking about going to bed knowing that i don't want to. the reasons for not wanting to aren't that great.
1. work comes early
2. another day to waste
3. probably get drunk
4. disrupts dreaming
5. more to think about
its not like i really mind all of that so much, i just kind of wish something completely different would happen...like it used to. i used to not have any idea what tomorrow would bring and the only problem with that is that its not responcible. i'm 22 and i wish i was 18. is there a problem with that? i know that its going to be that way for a long time, when i'm 33 i'll wish i were 22 and so on. its just that life seems to be passing me up. theres so much out there to experience and i haven't even begun to realize this. i was born in texas and raised almost everywhere...for awhile i was interested in what each place offered...now i'm afraid i've settled in. thats scary. i can't take it, thinking that i've settled. life, to me, means experiencing everything possible before the inevetible. i can't spell, deal with it.
i'm angry at myself for not taking full advantage of the life i was given...i've wasted it. thats not a good feeling, but i know that i can change it...thats a DAMN GOOD feeling. in order to be happy you must know how to deal with depression. you can't be happy until you've been unhappy. just like how there could be no good without evil. i don't know, i just wish i was motivated to actually get out there and experience EVERYTHING. i wonder..........
this poem sucks
04.12.04 (9:00 pm) [edit]we sat to talk for awhile,
you looked up and smiled -
i had said i was lonely
you said you were there for me...
its another saturday night
i think i might
stay in...
you rubbed your nose and lit a smoke
guess we shouldn't have had that coke,
i'm feeling useless and dry
you look like you're about to cry -
i tried to ask you why,
but you just smiled and said you were fine...
you sleep in my bed sometimes and laugh
and in the morning you take a bath,
i'd like to kiss you now
i just can't allow it -
and it kills me...
put water on the weeds to make them softer...
04.12.04 (3:46 pm) [edit]a co-worker just walked by muttering those words. i'm not exactly sure about the point, but there must be one...unless he just took something he shouldn't have - which i doubt.
so, today has been an interesting day. i started out in a bad mood because someone stole my desk and it pissed me off since my computer is the only one with speakers and i enjoy listening to music to help the day go a bit faster, but i have a desk now...apparently...just without music. its all good though, the day is passing just fine. i was thinking about my last post on here and have come to the conclusion that i shall do nothing about it...i really don't want to gamble with the friendship, gotta play it safe. i guess the day hasn't been all that interesting, nothings really happened...pretty much the same as every other day. just feels like there is something different in the air, maybe the heats just getting to me. although, i did just get the strangest sense of deja-vu, always a funny feeling. think about it, you think it already happened because you remember distinctly that it did...yet, its new. strange how life works like that. i do, however, tend to have dreams that end up coming to life like a month after i have them. always vivid, always memorable...just not always happy. i think that maybe i should learn to tame that and experiment in clairvoyance (spl?). well, i think it is time for me to get my lazy ass back to work. one more hour.
friends and lovers
04.11.04 (12:00 am) [edit]well, here i am changing my blog around since i can't think of anything better to do with myself. this weekend has, so far, left me with some pretty lonely thoughts. i did a lot of shit, i'll grant that, but it didn't feel like anything was accomplished. usually, i leave the weekend feeling good about what i did...its not really all that productive, but it gets things off my shoulders. yesterday and today have just added a little bit more stress...more to think about.
a female friend of mine, who i had a crush on when we first met about 6 years ago, decided to start acting all lovey dovey. i like how close we are and that things are shared so easily, but the way she was acting seemed as if she were looking for more. we had had discussions about it a couple of different times. you know, the whole "taking it to the next level" thing. we had agreed that we would just be close friends. however, now its really confusing...she'll get close and give me these looks as if she has something important to say, but she never says anything. everytime we chill lately she's been wanting to stay near me, being really...touchy feely. it doesn't make me uncomfortable and i don't mind it, but its strange when it seems she keeps expecting me to do something. i know she has love for me, i see it in her eyes and vice-versa, but we're both too scared about losing our friendship...gotta keep it real. i just wish i knew what she wanted because i'd like to make her happy or atleast talk about it, examine it, and refuse it because it makes too much sense to be right. i don't know, its a really fucked up situation. i think i'm going to ask her about things and straighten it out.
but it makes me feel lonely...and i don't feel lonely much. i keep thinking about how great it would be to be able to express my love and have it returned. someone to take shelter within, to talk to late at night about the most personal things while we lay in bed, laugh together, and just be with. here's to the future.
i think its high time i find my way to bed.
"we have just one chance
one chance to get everything right
we have one chance
one chance
and if we're lucky, we might..."
weed. pot. marijuana. herb. bud. dank. cannabis.
04.09.04 (10:40 am) [edit]whats the problem with marijuana? is there one? the girl i spoke of in another post seems to have a small problem with it. i've noticed a lot of people have problems with it and i'd like to know why. from all i know about it (after a lot of tedious studying over the years), there is really nothing wrong with it. lets look at some of the immediate effects of it:
1. Cotton Mouth (you know, dry mouth)
2. Laziness (yup, that tv looks inviting)
3. Munchies (got food? got a lot of food?)
4. Fatigue (damn, could really use a nap)
5. Creativity (gnomes!)
there are a lot more, but this post would never end. now, lets look at the long term effects. actually, they are pretty much the same as cigarettes...so...yeah. theres a way that its bad: it produces smoke. lets look at some of the immediate effects of alcohol:
1. Loss of balance (dude! watch it!)
2. Loss of communication skills/slurred speech (shory ocifer)
3. Poor judgement
there are so many more, but remember about this post never ending. to me, alcohol seems like the thing most people should have a problem with. long term effects are things like liver disease, kidney failure, and sometimes death. governments around the world are allowing dangerous alcoholics and not lazy stoners. i suppose the drunk is a littler better for the economy? oh, well. here - educate yourself:
1. Erowid (http://www.erowid.org) - Amazing database, find mostly anything out about plants, drugs, mind, spirit, and more.
2. Norml (http://www.norml.org) Orginization devoted to the study and legalization of marijuana. Well-know people such as Bill Mahr and Dennis Kussinich are apart of this group.
anyway, leave some comments - let me know what your views on marijuana are and why. much love!
.
04.09.04 (9:07 am) [edit]we sat on the edge of a room
waiting for something we heard
trying to rely on sense
going on without a thought,
make believe in miracles...
i'm sure you see what you want
i just look at what i see,
fading in and out of comprehension,
out of sight inside your mind...
i know sometimes i make no sense
but just take a ride with me
i'm sure you'll see
something to smile about,
if you don't -
oh, well
try again...
blah blah blahblahblahbl;ay
04.08.04 (4:18 pm) [edit]wow. today is totally the day time took a major shit on my face. tick-tock tick-tock. nothings changed...just a few seconds. jesus, i think father time is trying to fuck with me....this day just isn't passing. however, it is now 4:10 so i get to go home in an hr. thats a nice feeling, i'm going to punch a hole in the wall. it could be worse, i could be stoned...then i'd be amazingly tired so time would move soooooo much slower. i guess its all good though, i'll smoke some at home and time will fly. funny how that works.
met this girl. yeah. phone numbers rock...maybe something will come of it and maybe not...either way, its ok.
i realized, AGAIN, that i am repressed. this makes me angry...so much stress and no girl to show a good time to make up for it. oh, well, shit happens.
well, i think i am running into a brick wall now, i'm going to stop typing..............
Good News for People Who Love Bad News
04.07.04 (6:20 pm) [edit]Tracks:
1. Horn Intro
2. The World At Large
3. Float On
4. Ocean Breathes Salty
5. Dig Your Grave
6. Bury Me With It
7. Dance Hall
8. Bukowski
9. This Devil's Workday
10. The View
11. Satin In A Coffin
12. Interlude (Milo)
13. Blame It On The Tetons
14. Black Cadillacs
15. One Chance
16. The Good Times Are Killing Me
------------------------- -------------------
i don't know how many people like indie music, but modest mouse hits the number one spot in my eyes. ever since i first got into them back in 98, i have been very impressed and always pleased. modest mouse is the most eclectic bands i have ever heard. they've never had rave reviews and, more often than not, they are heavily critcized.
with their latest release they've managed to out-do themselves to the fullest. turning slightly more toward the "pop" genre with some strangely catchy tunes like the single FLOAT ON, they've made themselves more distinct and hard to classify. modest mouse has remained on top of the lyric game with shit like:
"Well that is that and this is this
You tell me what u found and i'll tell you what you missed
When the ocean met the sky
When time met life shook hands and said goodbye
When the earth folded in on itself
and said good luck..."
anyway, i'm making no sense in a lame review so i'm going to stop writing now. just pick it up, listen and fall in love with an amazing band. :D 8)
tuesday night.
04.07.04 (11:22 am) [edit]well, it was interesting. hung out with a bunch of friends at the bar, got drunk...played pool. my ex came up from santa monica to chill...hadn't seen her since mid last year. came back to my pad with some people and drank some more...played on the xbox. stayed up way too late for my own good and got too drunk. now here i am in front of my computer, at home. i should be at work, but i slept through my alarm and kind of don't have a way to get there. oh well, its not like there will be any major consequences...did i spell that right? probably not. oh well, i don't really give a shit. i am so hung over right now. damn.
well, i think its approaching the time i should lay off the drink for a bit. i find myself doing that every now and again, helps me keep a straight face in life. lol. i picked up a new cd yesterday, too. i've liked this band for years and not many of my friends can see why...haha. modest mouse. they are a damn good band and it pisses me off when people try to say their emo. my god, how can people be so dumb? its indie music, yes. its pseudo-hippie is what it is. haha. alright, already.
...poem...
04.04.04 (2:20 pm) [edit]alright, i wrote this one while i was drunk - as i tend to do quite often actually. leave some comments...
------------------------- ------------------------- --
and she said
woah, looks like you need a hand
i just stopped
"alright, okay..."
we'll just drive on down the road,
takin it easy in the fastlane,
just the other day i mentioned
something about waves and sand -
where are we going?
i'm sure we'll get someplace
further on down the way
just another endless day,
least i wish i wouldn't wake...
she said something like
wait here, i'll be right back
i just stopped
"i'm gonna take a walk..."
i'll go where the wind blows,
did i hear that in a song,
it involves some dust
draining through my hands -
they look so happy there...
volleyball in hand
castles in the sand,
a child makes me smile
seems its all worth while...
she says
i thought i lost you
i just stopped
"i've been right here..."
another poem!
04.03.04 (3:11 pm) [edit]a poem...wow, go figure!
------------------------- ---------------
lost and lonely in a daze
so confused bout life
its a maze...
you didn't see the stars
too busy in your bars
to pay attention...
its just a matter of time
before they drop the dime,
such a foolish gesture...
people know your face too well
sayin they wish you'd go to hell,
i'm fine thanks,
just swell...
you keep diggin your own grave
dying in the heat
who you tryin to save,
its a useless feat...
and i'd like to laugh
point at you and joke
at least when you spoke
it was worth it to say
there'll be a brighter day...
untitled.
04.03.04 (3:09 pm) [edit]yup. a poem.
------------------------- -----------------------
there ain't nothin you want more than money
and the stars are just a bit too shiny,
but that doesn't matter much
especially when you've got a hunch
that things aren't so fine,
such a thin line...
feeling blue again, are you?
say you don't have a clue,
like its all a clever joke
or a rhym that other guy spoke,
just to poke some fun at you
played again for a fool...
what happened last night?
did you get into another fight?
something someone said -
you didn't like the lines they fed
you couldn't keep it clean
you had to be agressive, little too mean,
remember how it was for you back then?
you always tried to fend it off...
took another look in the mirror,
trying to see things a little clearer -
mistook a picture in a magazine
as something to wash myself clean in,
its funny to wish -
like goin fishin...
there ain't nothing you want more than money
and the stars are just a bit too shiny,
but that doesn't matter much
especially when you've got a hunch
that things aren't so fine,
such a thin line...
getting drunk on a friday
04.03.04 (2:40 am) [edit]well, tonite was fun...i guess. went to the bar after work with my brother, had a few drinks and played some pool. afterwards i went with a few friends to some club in downtown...a total waste of time and money. 9 bucks for a jack & coke thats not strong enough to even remotely resemble what you wanted. oh well, shit happens. i'm just glad that i have a weekend to rest after working all week...just like every week. i only stick with my job because its "responsible" and pays the bills. alrighty, i think i'm done with my mindless whatever you wanna call it.
Love.
04.02.04 (3:23 pm) [edit]to me, this is how it is to be in love. please comment.
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like clear skies
sunny days
daydreams...
like velvet roses
intoxicating perfume
pure thoughts...
my eyes touch your movement
like a violin
innocent notes
burning passion...
i listen to your voice
like a lullaby
an infant sleeping sound...
may i take your hand
have this dance
tell you how i feel?
sworn to secrecy
forbidden by time,
etched in stone
carved in an ancient tongue...
i can barely breathe.
Just A Dream
04.02.04 (9:02 am) [edit]another poem and, as always, comments are welcome and encouraged...constructive criticism please.
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is there something
anything,
or just a dream?
tossing and turning
searching for truth,
a wise mans gamble,
a fortune too old...
faint lights going to sleep
another story for the day,
just like yesterdays
beautiful memories...
she waves her hand above me
casting secrets on the walls
if only i could speak
i'd know where i was...
lost inside her smile
spinning blindly in the dark
falling softly to my knees,
just a dream...
A Bit.
04.01.04 (3:16 pm) [edit]possibly the only reason i try
or care to give an aliby
is something i could never comprehend,
another useless thought to defend...
and i'm sure i try hard enough
and i know i've got "the right stuff"
still theres something i can't explain
why am i feeling such disdain?
i'm just another lost man
staring into an empty beer can,
wondering what it was i said
wondering if i should go to bed...
maybe in the morning i'll know
what i've got to show for it
its not like i give a shit
i just want to live a bit...
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comments welcome!
new website
04.01.04 (11:25 am) [edit]hey all.
i'm trying to put together a website to showcase creative works. i need submittions to make it work, i am accepting the following:
-stories (fiction/non-fiction)
-poetry
-photography
-artwork (drawings etc.)
-and anything else that might fit...it must be your own work.
there are really no guidelines for submittions, just no pornography. the website is/will be located @ http://www.fixedfire.net/cmaz...
all contributions can be sent to: dank@funkyemail.net
thanks!
my screen just got brighter...
04.01.04 (10:52 am) [edit]wow, that was actually quite strange. i was sitting here looking at the screen and it just got really bright then when back to normal. damn, makes me wonder what was in my breakfast burrito...
anyway, this is a pretty interesting little idea, the whole "blogging" thing...i'm probably going to get hooked for a little while and then find something else to waste time with. anyone seen any good movies recently? i need to go and see something, haven't been to the theatre since LOR3 came out. hmm, i need help deciding what to see.
today is april fools. time has gone by way too quick and i need someone to make fun of. maybe i'll just poke some fun at my co-workers, see how laidback everyone is today. :twisted:
short and kind of stupid poem about working and then going home. lol.
04.01.04 (9:47 am) [edit]a quiet hum
soft flourescence
steady voices
another call to answer...
counting passing cars
waiting, smoking
wanting more -
an indifferent strategy...
watching another end
a wasted day
blinding headlights
long drive...
a dimlit room
soothing music
running water
another show to watch...
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comments are welcome! :D